UNTITLED (December '23)
Nicodemus 1997 (St. Louis)
Snippets of memories
Both painful & delightful
Flash before my eyes
I feel both protected & ridiculed
Like the world knows something I don't
And there's a lot that I know
Like that I was supposed to be born a boy
Perhaps a savior
Yet I'm trapped by expectations & coverups
Glossed over details
Southern hemisphere versus Northern
All crammed into one body--
My self.
A long lineage of important family members
Wasted on my body, my brain, my skill, my circumstance
What do the oceans have to say about this?
The air? The earth, fire, and wood?
The metal ore bore deep within the Earth's crust?
How long must I remain silent?
How long must I pretend to forgive and forget?
While hate & anger & revenge brew deep in my chest?
Restless nights spent contemplating starting from scratch
New day, new night, new me, new life
I do odd math in my head
Suffer either loudly or in silence about decades of trauma
Decades of good, bad, and ugly
Culminating into a life changing year
Bending reality at a whim; not my doing
Thinking back to all the signs, the omens
The years spent tortured & beaten down--
I am too strong for this
Too loud for this
No more houses of cards, of glass
You can only hide me from the public eye
For so long
Until I bite the bait
Contemplate destruction of self,
Of people
Of institutions,
Of countries
Or better yet, I'll write a long apology letter
For taking up space sheerly by existing
You'll never see me coming
Until I round the corner,
Pen in hand,
Tip touching skin
Penetrating to fascia
Just like the good old days.
Right?
About this poem
One of the first poems I've written in months as of today. I felt the need to get out a lot of emotions and memories all at once; The result is a combination of realism and fantasy for the reader.
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Written on 2023
Submitted by writing.incessantly on December 16, 2023
- 1:45 min read
- 1 View
Quick analysis:
Scheme | X X X X X X X A X X X B X X C X X X X X D X X X B X E X X C C X X X X X A E E A X X D X |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 1,598 |
Words | 346 |
Stanzas | 44 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 |
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"UNTITLED (December '23)" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Sep. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/177944/untitled-(december-'23)>.
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