Written August 31, 2017
The Letter’s Lost
I’ve lost track of hours and days at this point. How i manage to function thru-out the day is beyond me already. But I manage. Thank god for anger taking over I guess.
Days really are longer, and the nights are even longer. I tire myself out to the point that I don’t dream. Because when i do, its literally all of you. And that is a nightmare to dream about. So i work myself out to my limits, i work myself until my hands hurt so when I lay down, theres nothing to be said, nothing to think, nothing to feel.
Still walk my daily walk on the river front..still looking for what i lost, a piece of myself. I sit in my same bench to overlook the water, and put myself in blank
Part of me wants to be found….that i can feel the emotions boiling up….and than theres that side of me that doesn’t want to be found. for this is the new me? numb…cold…distant…for i refuse to let anyone in….because this time the cost is just too high…