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Letter’s Lost #3

Date Written: October 3, 2017
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Written August 31, 2017 

The Letter’s Lost 

I’ve lost track of hours and days at this point. How i manage to function thru-out the day is beyond me already. But I manage. Thank god for anger taking over I guess. 

Days really are longer, and the nights are even longer. I tire myself out to the point that I don’t dream. Because when i do, its literally all of you. And that is a nightmare to dream about. So i work myself out to my limits, i work myself until my hands hurt so when I lay down, theres nothing to be said, nothing to think, nothing to feel. 

Still walk my daily walk on the river front..still looking for what i lost, a piece of myself. I sit in my same bench to overlook the water, and put myself in blank 

Part of me wants to be found….that i can feel the emotions boiling up….and than theres that side of me that doesn’t want to be found. for this is the new me? numb…cold…distant…for i refuse to let anyone in….because this time the cost is just too high…

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