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Letter’s Lost

Date Written: October 2, 2017

The Letter’s Lost

This bench overlooking the water, has become a home. My mind wanders…sometimes in blank. I think sometimes I’m looking to see if i find a piece of myself. Sometimes I’m looking to see if I can just loose myself completely. 

But everyday, after my run I go back to that bench. Sometimes I don’t even know if the tightness I’m feeling in my chest is from running so much, or what everything I’m feeling. But everyday I sit in that bench. 

Some days are easier on me than others. Though everyday is a nightmare on its own. I workout to the point my body wants to quit on me…how I’m keeping this going, is beyond me. I’m barely holding on.

Still weeks later, I do not know if when its sweat running down my face, or tears. That tight chest feeling that takes the little air in you away, is a feeling I never thought I would have again…

Over hearing a convo the other day, an old man looks at me and goes “son, what do you think is worse…getting 1000 cuts, or heart break?” I replied simply with 1000 cuts, because those cuts with heal better…

Here’s to another sun rise, another day of me sitting in this bench, another day to hope for the best, another day I look out into the water. another day…

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