I awake many-a-mornings
from a nightmare of a life
in solitude- crying, aching and
destitute considering my
existence and mourning.
Can a singularity survive a harsh cold race?
I feel no part of this world,
I fit not in!
There is no love, hence no God,
certainly no hope for me here
Why did I defy Fate to be born?
Abandoned I have always felt
Apart, looking in, my aching heart at
happiness, family, love and yet these
noble gestures of humanity is
out of reach, in my futility
I tried to end this entropic existence
by sticking this pen I write with
as I recant my miserable life
but cowardice won the day.
I look back now
crying mercifully as the
reality of my life comes full circle:
I see how not being loved by family;
I looked to my future family – failed.
I see Henry marrying another, a good father
and provider he made
Look at mine then, a wife basher – failed.
He who came after, a philanderer- failed.
My cards were tainted with bad men
hailed from the lions of
bad women who never loved me,
instead bore discrimination and reproach
I shall no longer labor in false hope
I promise to bury positivity and
any semblance of my humanity
I never belonged in this time-space continuum
Fate I beseech you, in my finality
make my death as painful as
you make my reality
marred by enmity, failure and degradation
I humbly accept in ignorance
For should I meet you in human form
I will end You for the sufferings,
as learnings, all the innocuous
souls had to endure!