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SUBVERSION OF FATE

Date Written: October 5, 2017
Categories:
 

I awake many-a-mornings

from a nightmare of a life

in solitude- crying, aching and

destitute considering my

existence and mourning.

 

Can a singularity survive a harsh cold race?

I feel no part of this world,

I fit not in!

There is no love, hence no God,

certainly no hope for me here

Why did I defy Fate to be born?

Abandoned I have always felt

Apart, looking in, my aching heart at

happiness, family, love and yet these

noble gestures of humanity is

out of reach, in my futility

 

I tried to end this entropic existence

by sticking this pen I write with

as I recant my miserable life

but cowardice won the day.

 

I look back now

crying mercifully as the

reality of my life comes full circle:

I see how not being loved by family;

I looked to my future family – failed.

I see Henry marrying another, a good father

and provider he made

Look at mine then, a wife basher – failed.

He who came after, a philanderer- failed.

 

My cards were tainted with bad men

hailed from the lions of

bad women who never loved me,

instead bore discrimination and reproach

I shall no longer labor in false hope

I promise to bury positivity and

any semblance of my humanity

I never belonged in this time-space continuum

 

Fate I beseech you, in my finality

make my death as painful as

you make my reality

marred by enmity, failure and degradation

I humbly accept in ignorance

For should I meet you in human form

I will end You for the sufferings,

as learnings, all the innocuous

souls had to endure!

For What?

2 comments on “SUBVERSION OF FATE”

  1. River.Ophelia     October 13, 2017

    deeply moving and heartfelt
    I could relate to your poem Jessica
    thank you for the intimate share…

    1. JessicaMars     October 19, 2017

      ❤️

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