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My Fantasy

Date Written: September 25, 2017

I don’t want to have to cry so much

That I am left shaking in the corner of the room,

Biting on my fist to hold back the sobs. 


I don’t want to hide myself under 

A facade of happiness and smiles 

When, really, nothing is alright. 


I don’t want to hold back my thoughts anymore,

I want someone to listen, I want to scream and shout:

“I’m hurting, I’m not okay!”


I don’t want to have to rely on unhealthy 

Obsessions and habits, all to make me feel 

Alive, a harsh contrast to reality. 


I don’t want to have to feel disgusting, 

Worse than everyone else with their 

Slim bodies and blonde hair and beautiful faces. 


I don’t want to not wake up in the morning. 

I don’t want to have to feel like this. 

I want to feel alive…


But oh, what a silly little dream that is.

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