I don’t want to have to cry so much
That I am left shaking in the corner of the room,
Biting on my fist to hold back the sobs.
I don’t want to hide myself under
A facade of happiness and smiles
When, really, nothing is alright.
I don’t want to hold back my thoughts anymore,
I want someone to listen, I want to scream and shout:
“I’m hurting, I’m not okay!”
I don’t want to have to rely on unhealthy
Obsessions and habits, all to make me feel
Alive, a harsh contrast to reality.
I don’t want to have to feel disgusting,
Worse than everyone else with their
Slim bodies and blonde hair and beautiful faces.
I don’t want to not wake up in the morning.
I don’t want to have to feel like this.
I want to feel alive…
But oh, what a silly little dream that is.