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1 year

Date Written: September 9, 2017

One has gone by, another birthday vanishes. 

What was it like being 19? I couldn't tell you, I don't remember. 

18 to 20 in silence. It didn't just go by. 

It is gone. A space in time erased. I've mispaced a year of my life. Just as your life has been misplaced. Displaced. 

What happens when I'm old and suddenly, I discover the year of being 19? Perhaps I'll die immediately of a broken heart. 

Shards of my source, will they cut me? Will they mend? I wonder if I will ever be able to breathe again. 

I wonder if each rise of my chest will pain my existence, or bring me closer to myself. It seems that time is the only seer for my uncertain path.

How long will I misplace these days, these hours, seconds of my life. 

I have been 19 for a century and somehow I don't recall a single thing. The only thing that is absolute is that tomorrow, I won't remember today. 

What a cruel game this is. A pain from a ghost. I feel the weight of unrecognizable memories, as if they don't belong to me anymore. It is like the warmth of a sun you cannot see. 

What is this madness I seemed to have succumbed to. 

Your birthday disappears in the numbers once again as I so easily forget everything that I am. 

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