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The Black Hole

Date Written: September 21, 2017

You smile and laugh as best as you can. When someone asks you're always 'fine'. You are their shoulder to cry on, their voice of reason, their person, and you love being their person. You love being able to help them, you love pulling them through tough times. But, who is there to help you? Who is your shoulder? Who is going to be your voice of reason? You sleep almost through the day, life and people hold no meaning for you anymore. You do only the basics to get through the day, you get up, brush your teeth, dress, eat, go to your classes or work, come home, eat, and then sleep and start all over. You feel as if you are slipping, that you will never be able to pull yourself out of this deep dark hole and everything you do is in vain. As you drive along you think about how easy it would be to just hold down the pedal and aim at that giant tree. In the bath, you think of how easy it would be to drown and to finally be at peace. But is it really peace? Will death solve everything? What if death is like sleeping, but this time when you have nightmares, there is no waking up, this is your new reality. Maybe instead of trying to get out life, try living. Get out of bed, take a shower and find something to fill the hole in your soul. Be it music, books, film, photography, the medical field. Try something new, take an art class. Find something positive to look forward to. Make an effort to live. You can do this. Find love, find knowledge, find something to fight for. Give yourself a reason to smile, no one but you can find your purpose. Not everything you do will be a success, you will fail, and it will suck. But, it is your job to then get back up and find out why you failed or scratch it and start something new. You cant do it alone though, find your person, find your vibe and you will find your tribe. I have faith in you.

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