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Our Story

Date Written: November 1, 2017
Categories:
 

 

Our story

From the beginning

I felt something was wrong

We rushed through the days

Yet I knew I did not belong.

 

We carried on

Facing rocky roads through the years

We made a life together

Or so it appears.

 

You took my hand in engagement

In what I believed was love

Yet I learned later on

That wasn’t the thought of.

 

Years continued to go by

You married me on a dare,

I walked down the aisle willingly

With a hope and a prayer.

 

One year later

We shared our vows with the public eye

A dream I had wanted

And I ask myself why?

 

Again the years went on

And the kids grew more each day

They became young adults

Despite our turbulent disarray.

 

 

 

 

 

Then I took on the task

Becoming a stand in mom for you

With your nieces and Little did I know

That this would be totally taboo.

 

All the while there you were

Running the road on your own

Keeping shelter over our heads

While you created your own zone.

 

Not that this was the first

But you began to chase the thrill

 I sat here loyal

Dedicated to you still.

 

You ran your course of games

I caught on to your life

                                              Reality surfaced in me

That I was never really your wife

 

We look good on paper

But in the daily grind

There was no hope

And our marriage would decline.

 

Things only have gotten worse

The fights and trust grew more

The resentments began to build

This is something we cannot ignore.

 

Seemingly we can come together

Every once in a while

Only if I look the other way

And don’t put you on trial.

 

 

 

Yet within me I know

My instinctive nature reins high

I know when something is wrong

And on that I rely.

 

To present day you still deny

Your trips of disguise

And each day I will search

While you still fantasize.

 

Your temperament has changed

You are quick to condemn in rage

From the smallest to the tallest

You seek to ravage out of your lions cage

 

Your drunk personage is embarrassing

Your lack of empathy and blunt talk

That is when I retreat on my own

Then upon me your rage will stalk.

 

So much damage has been done

On both of our parts

Yet we continue to live

With our dying hearts

 

It is not just the alcohol

Like you want to believe

It is You, and your personage

That I cannot perceive.

 

I want someone who respects

Who engages in me

Who loves me for the good and the bad

Someone who really sees ME

 

 

 

I want to be loved

I want to feel the love they show

I want to be appreciated

And valued more than you know

 

You just want your ego stroked

With the control that you need

You feel a sense of entitlement

And to this I must heed

 

Our life has been based on lies

From the very start

This is why I believe it best

That me and you must part

 

Until you can grant me access

Into your life each day

Then there will be no healing

And the price we will each pay.

 

The life I loved and wanted to have

The love I thought I had and wanted to keep

Is all but gone now

And the memories run very deep

 

Also are the scars

That I can never erase

The words of hate you have embedded in me

With the smile you stole from my face.

 

It is times like this

That you must search inside

Figure it out

Cuz this is where we reside.

 

The end

September 13 2017

Written for tracy

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