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A song is never truly a song
Until it is sung
A book is never truly a book
Until it is read
A star is never truly a star
Until it shines in the night
A flower is never truly a flower
Until it produces fruit
A tree is never truly a tree
Until it gives breath
A hope is never truly a hope
Until all other hope is gone
A life is never truly a life
Until it is given
A heart is never truly a heart
Until it is broken
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My heart aches over and over again
As her body lays so cold and motionless
Her once bright hazel eyes
... continued
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The past that haunts me,
Yet I often smile.
The memories I can't live with,
And still you're in my mind.
\I often think of us,
Of how life would be.
I often hope it was us,
And still it wasn't to be.
\The time on stand by
When I was with you.
Pausing everything around us,
For the love was all you.
\The moments that stood still
Among the breath of my life.
And still to this day,
I wished you were my wife.
\Memoirs written in the back of my mind.
Story untold that was left all behind.
Now that I've written, and often with signs.
That I foresee true love, reminiscing what once was mine.

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The morose and unamused,
take solace in those abused.
Come spilling a heart's flame,
... continued
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A little boy 
tugs at his mothers arm 
while she ignores him. 
... continued
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Lost lives...
Titanic in proportions
Let's send more
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how can someone be so distant
some how you have retained my interest
see my hearts in places its never been before
... continued
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^^ viuk oksV vuqHko **   Hkkx - 50 jes’k ;k;koj
eSusa vkt viuk oksV Mkyk vkSj eq>s vkt Hkh nq%[k gksrk Hkkjrh; pquko vk;ksx ds reke nkos vksj fn’kk funsZ’k dh vogsyuk gha gksrh gS eSus vius 49 olarks ds fglkc ls yksdlHkk ]fo/kku lHkk] uxj iapk;r pquko lnk gha ns[ksa gSaA eq>s ;g le> ugh vkrk brus cM+s yksdra= esa 9 pj.kksa pquko gks ;k blls T;knk dà pj.kksa esa gks] ihBklhuinkf/kdkjh dks iqjs fu;eksa dh tkudkjh ugh gksrh gSA muds vanj Hk; lek;k gksrk gS gkFk pyrk gha ugh dke dkt /kheh xfr ls gksrs jgrk gSA ernkrk vkØksf’kr gksrs jgrs gSaA dgha ernkrk lwfp v’kq) gS dgh uke fdlh dk QksVwd fdlh dk vkSj lq/kkj dà cjlksa ls gks gha jgk gSA ;g le> ls ijs gS ;g gk; rksck vkf[kj D;ksa\ ch0 ,y0 vks0 dh fu;qfDr LFkk;h ekuh x;h gSA tks ch0,y0 vks0 f’k{kd cny tkrs gSa muds LFkku ij vkus okyk f’k{kd Lor% ch0 ,y0 vks0 gksrk gSA ij dà dà cjlksa ls lq/kkj gks gha jgk gSA cqtqxZ ernkrk Hkh mlh ykÃu esa ?kaVksa jgdj oksV Mkyrs gSaA ojh;rk dk ikB ’kk;n bUgksus lh[kk gha ughA esjs firkth 84 c"khZ; Loa; eq>ls 30 feuV igys ernku dsUæ ij x, ]mUgsa Hkh ,d ?kaVs ykÃu esa jguk iM+kA ihBklhu inkf/kdkjh  }; <+hys <+kys fn[ks muds dke djus j¶rkj de FkhA vkSj dgha er Mkyus okys gha utj de utj vk jgs FksA eq[; cktkj ds rhu cqFk ,d gha dkWyst ds çkaxu esa gSA bu rhuks esa gha ernkrk ,d lkeku ugh gSA vkSj lqcg ls gha bl fpfYpykrh /kqi esa [kM+s jg dj bl ns’k çse /keZ dks fuHkkus esa ernkrk bUgha vo;oLFkkvksa ds pyrs ijs’kku utj vkrs gSaA ,d gha okMZ ds ernkrk vyx&vyx ernku dsUæ ij oksV Mkyus esa ijs’kku utj vkrs gSaA ogh gkykr xkM+h ds ifjpkyu dh gSA ,d ftyk esa fdruh xkM+h;k¡ pquko dk;Z gsrw pkfg,A bldk ys[kk tks[kk ugh gSA ç’kklu /kM+Yys ls xkM+h;k¡ idM+rk gSA dgha vkokxeu esa vlqfo/kk gksrh gSA brus fu;e dkuqu cuk;s tkrs gSa fd pquko yM+uk rkjs rksM+us ds lkeku gSAlq/kkj ckj&ckj gksrs gSa ij tks deh jg tkrh gS budh rS;kjh;ksa esa mlls lh[k fy;k gha ugh tkrkA gekjs ns’k esa yksdra= ds bl egkioZ ij eSusa lifjokj 80 feuV ykÃu esa [kM+s gksdj vius dŸkZO; dk fuoZgu fd;kA oksV Mkyus dk ldqu ,slk Fkk eSusa vius çR;k’kh dks <+q<+k oks dgk¡ fdrus uEcj ij gS eq>s dksà tkudkjh gha iwoZ ls ughA bl çdkj çpkj okguksa dk lp Hkh ;gh gS os flQZ /kqeus ds lk/ku cudj jg x,A ernkrk vius vius er dk nku dj Hkkjr ds HkkX; dk fuekZ.k djrs gSaA vkSj ogh çpkj okys bl çdkj ds Hkh feys ftUgsa nqfu;k¡ us uDdkjk! Ij mUgksus mYVs lh/ks oDrO; nsdj ehfM;k dk /;ku [khapkA
... continued
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I wish you could have seen 
How much you were loved 
Maybe if you had known... 
Things could have been different 
Regrets simmer on the surface 
My rabid thoughts lashing out 
Flooding my heart with doubt 
Unease seeping 
 Through the cracks 
As I let my guard down 
And all these feelings 
Come rushing back 
Shame, regret and anger 
Ambushing me all at once 
As my numbness dissolves 
Leaving me bare and exposed 
I should have made it clear 
So you had not doubts 
Maybe if you had understood... 
Things could have been different 
I imagine you sitting here now 
Your big long arms 
Wrapping me in one of your famous hugs 
The pain inside my chest 
Cripples me today 
As my thoughts refuse 
Move away from you 
I should have made sure 
You had seen 
How much you mean 
But I was blind 
To the pain 
Hiding behind your smile 
And I took you for granted 
Assuming that you knew 
What was unsaid 
I watched those 
Flock around you 
Looking for a warmth 
Only you could give 
Their love and admiration 
Glimmering in their eyes 
And I thought you saw it too 
All the people who loved you 
All the ways you mattered 
I never thought... 
My heart bleeds 
Regrets accompanying me 
While I revisit 
These insidious thoughts 
Haunting me 
Wishing I’d be granted 
A reprieve from this pain 
Lodged within my heart 
Since the day you died 
Leaving me 
Clutching to your memories 
Needing to remember 
Needing to be close 
As I study crumpled pictures 
Letting the past fill the holes 
So that I can gain control 
On these rapid doubts 
Filling me with shame 
Lacing me with pain 
And an all consuming emptiness 
As I’m greeted by your absence 
At every turn I take 
Regret clouding my eyes 
As I think of him 
That Stupid Boy
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These wounds will never fade. They will be scars that will always remind me down my life's road I pave. I will learn, but never forgive or forget how I've been betrayed. Those without empathy would see this and laugh as they lead lives that leave trails of destruction and trash. I can't expect ignorance to care for the difference between wrong & right. They don't understand diplomacy or how to apologize. Just further the fight to cover their pride while living a lie.
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