f*ck it

alot of the times in life i feel like i'm one of those extras in a movie, but in real life. nobody cares about the name of an extra in a movie.(unless its that thick azz girl webbie smashed in ghetto stories, i still wonder who det is, ion know why, its not like i'mma hit, but anyway) yeah. its kinda sad because I feel like all i'm good for is answering someones call when they need something. like i have the need to serve and i dont deserve to have a life of my own. i wonder do i blame the way i was raised or was this pre-destined or a mental condition or if i was doomed from birth or this is something i have 2 over come, is this some kind of crazy type revelation i have to find out to actually appreciate life or do i gotta be a suck *ss nigga 4 the rest of my life. come to think of it, has anybody in my family ever been "cool". so am i a suck azz nigga in a suck azz family destined 2 be mediocre forever. then the worst of it is i use 2 be smart af when i was little and now i feel dumb as sh*t. i use to be the tallest person in my class then seems like everyone outgrew me. i mean seriously who tf else grows 2 be 6'1 and still feels short. and whats the odds of all your peers amazingly being 6'2 and over. i mean i was like 6 feet in middle school and i'm 18 and only grew a inch, hardly. not 2 mention i have a fro and barely pass that height line. then there's the big cahoona. your a 17 year old nerd with not 1 thing 2 offer a girl except a cute face(that you know of). then you meet this girl that's 19 who is sexually active and experiments with other women that tells you she likes you, and that she's ready to have sex at some point in your relationship. so  you talk for a good while, finally start dating and 3 months down the road, she's ready 2 have sex and she's wet as the pacific but you're so p*ssy that u get nervous, lose focus and cant get hard. f*ck!!!!! then this happens about 10 more times til she eventually gets frustrated and loses all respect 4 u, so next time u wanna complain....f*ck you look at my life