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Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu' Profile

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About Me and My Poetry

Born in 1971, I live in Bucharest, Romania. I started writing poems at the end of 2006 and haiku in 2010 when I also started to translate my poems in English or in French. (This photo is from the summer of 2007 when I was younger and much thinner). I was published a few times. If you got here you can find all my poems here, if you search for my poems featured under my name when you type my name, there are many duplicates, the site has some technical disadvantages and I understood this. They told me they are working on it. My public achievements: I began publishing my poems in a Romanian newspaper in 2007 and writing haiku in March 2010. My poems, haiku and haiga were published in three Romanian magazines, one haiku anthology, one haiga anthology and on line editions, for example Daily Haiga. My haiku also appeared in the Romanian magazine Haiku, in Ploc!, Asahi Shimbun, Sketchbook and Mainichi Daily News. My poems also appeared in the Indian magazines Bizz Buzz and Connifer Call. I also had the pleasant surprise to see my poem "Caryatid" used in a sculptural installation in the United States.-------------------------- About my poems: I rarely used imagination in my poems, almost all of them are all heartfelt and speak about true facts from my life experience. I used symbols, metaphors, similes and many images, but I rarely built overt statements or conclusions. My poems are more about feelings than about thinking. They all have intellectual meanings, except for a few which are only emotional. But they seldom convey a message in a direct manner of speech. They have nothing hidden in them like a secondary meaning or a double meaning of words.--------------------------- About my life: I was always a very kind and calm person, working in harsh conditions for my intellectual achievements or even loving housework or the work in the fields. Always in love with nature and respectful towards human beings. Always a good pupil and almost always a good student with the highest grades, except for periods when I was kept under psychiatric drugs. I loved very much books since childhood and I read many books - literature or scientific literature. I was imprisoned in psychiatric care when I was only 21, without any guilt, with a schizophrenia diagnostic, losing all my civil rights to have a job or to have a child but I did not understand then, I never had money and I was always isolated. My financial problems were always very hard to endure and still are, because I worked only 5 years, even those were illegal work with my diagnostic and I cannot have a retirement payment, the state gives a very small monthly income to schizophrenics, which cannot be enough to pay for example the rent. I studied 12 years of school, then 6 years of Psychology but I was told I have no rights to have my master degree because of that diagnostic. Then I turned towards Medicine where I was told almost the same thing and I studied only 5 years, without entering the last 6th one. I worked as a teacher 4 years and as a librarian one year when they obliged me to do a cleaning woman's job all time (I don't understand why they rejected me) but I resigned because after cleaning everything well they obliged me to stay in a basement for 8 hours a day without doing nothing and it was very hard to bear that and tiresome, because I could not even read in those conditions. I was always lonely, my martyrdom began in 1984, and I had a suicide attempt only in 1998, when I lost a part of my left leg. I don't understand why people reject me (for example some neighbors don't even say hello to me, i was always polite, etc.) and I don't really understand why people are thinking that psychiatrists are perfect when they condemn a person. They just say that this means that the patient is mentally sick just because he or she is not accepting his or her diagnostic and disease. All my life events are considered symptoms or delirium though I never lied my whole life and I coped well with difficulties, and all my thinking and deeds were good and normal, with normal reactions, reason, emotions, etc. I had a small and poor family and I lost almost all my relatives throughout the years. The few friends i had deserted me, without guilt from my part (for example one of them wrote me a very strange letter accusing me of doing something wrong to her, I don't know what, she did not tell, I did nothing wrong). The others refused to answer to my phone calls or mails. I was asking in vain since 2002 to gain normal human rights in the society wandering from one organization to another. I began writing poetry at the end of 2006 because I had nothing else to do and because I found then that my illusory love (a man that tricked me when I was 17, without having a real relationship with him) was in fact remarried at an old age (he was 36 when I met him) and then had a child with a woman only two years older than me. That event triggered my first poetic attempts. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am sorry ladies and gentlemen, I think I will leave this site if the problem will persist. I have already deleted my blogs and other accounts on the net, lacking feedback and readers for 5 years. I was happy to find here a supportive community and I found some good poems. (at the beginning of May, 2012, I restarted blogging, I made two blogs on wordpress for my translated poems, slightly different from these here and placing them with correct dates, here I was in a haste. I also reopened for public my blogger blog). Yesterday I wrote "about my poem" to each of my poems, but the points did not appear. That is not important. Also I cannot access Old Poetry Boards. That is not important. But today, April, 21, 2012, I found that my descriptions of my poems are censored (yesterday it was not like this) and also my reviews of other poems. I think I did nothing wrong, I don't understand this change. My description for my poem Apprentice about country life disappeared and also my description for Right in the Middle, which I can still place here as an example (that one about the river was even more pure and innocent): ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This poem is inspired by my life events. I suffered a lot, I was a misfit, rejected by society for unknown reasons. This poem expresses my anger and revolt, says the truths about my purity and innocence combining facts from my reality - my father died 7 years ago, I was very sad my whole life not to have a child,(as I have already said), and I had problems with an oppressive mother. There is nothing wrong about my poem, so many poets wrote about their miseries or sadness or anger or revolt. I don't understand why the word "cock" was censored, it is true that I never cut the throat of a chicken, but also true that I chopped wood for lighting fire by myself. My poems never have double meaning, they are combination of life events that create impressive pictures (this is what I intended), pictures with a spiritual meaning, expressing something that was valuable for my feelings or an insight into life's mysteries and the order of the universe". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And my description for the poem Apprentice that was also rejected, I don't know why: "When I was a child I spent many days in the countryside in a small village with my grandparents. There I was impressed by the immensity of skies, the brightness and great number of stars. The forests were enchanting. People were not drinking water from their wells, they were bringing water in pitchers from a sweet spring source. Near the village a river was running wild and free. Now there is a dam there, but in my childhood we were crossing that river on a small suspended footbridge".--------------------- Another comment that is not allowed about my poem Tacit: "You don't have to feel sorry, maybe it is not a poem in the classical sense, I tried to make it a philosophical statement. The refusal (no in my poem) meant the desire to acquire knowledge ...but this ended into a moth attracted by blind lamp....(the impossibility of knowledge), then the questions dwindle because certainties do not exist, we draw conclusions too fast, because the senses are not reliable...short sight , then I decided to keep silent (without articulations) - tacit - because knowledge is an implicit thing and the asymptotes are the impossible road that never reaches the line near them. Also my verses are interconnected, intertwined, for example annelids resemble asymptotes and so on...I worked very hard on this poem but maybe it is too short and complex and symbolic".

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About My Poem
Assets
Assets


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the spiral stairs banister is rusty
 
... continued
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Without your fingers touch
the earth would have accepted
... continued
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I.
Alas, Love, eighteen years have passed,
... continued
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„And mom, stones were changing
into butterflies, learning how to fly.”
... continued
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40
 
Atop of a white mountain
a voice recalls for some of us
... continued
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40
 
The river washes its ground bed
for many years going around,
... continued
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40
 
The rainbow’s colors are scattered,
clearing up wonders of being.
... continued
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40
 
All thinking, rebellious prints,
Like seals over arches and chains,
... continued
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I tried to build from words
a shelter for silence
waiting a long time
... continued
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40
Still captives in a cave
where stars' flight becomes stone
like stalactites dripping
... continued
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