Danielsaulbaker
  Junior Member

Philipo, Luisestable1,
After reading your comments, I have spent time going over my work. I am aware, now, that my story moves 18 years into the future too abruptly, causing confusion. I will be rewriting, and I owe my new awareness to you two. Thank you! Dan more »

I greatly appreciate your feedback. Ray Bradbury was a friend of my parents (and an acquaintance of mine at best), and I was fortunate to hear some pearls from him. One notable: "....don't show your work to anyone until it is published because you will only get cut off at the knees." It's a bit out of context, but I say this to emphasize how glad I am for posting my work here and receiving the comments I have thus far. I need to revisit my work and find the 'space' to draw more understanding from you, the reader. THANK YOU! Dan more »

Thank you so much for your feedback/comment. Initially, I speak of my experience when my niece was born (not revealing she is my niece). I segue to a time 18 years later when my "identical twin brother" warns me of the need to speak to his daughter. Two things are revealed there. 1) that
the newborn is not mine, but my niece, and 2) that she and I have an issue to resolve; an issue that is neither important to describe, nor what I wanted to share . The important message I am attempting to impart is that my niece did not allow our impasse to have any bearing on her feelings for me, while I went down the prideful, selfish path. The outcome was her pain followed by my pain; a pain so deep...... I hope I've helped. Again, so glad you were drawn to my prose. Dan more »