They never truly leave us

Discuss the poem They never truly leave us with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/197717/they-never-truly-leave-us

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  AIDA

  What a beautifully uplifting poem! Your message about the enduring presence of loved ones is both comforting and profound. The way you explore the themes of death and memory is heartfelt and resonates with anyone who has experienced loss. I love how you emphasize the positive aspects of remembering those we’ve lost, transforming sorrow into celebration. Each stanza builds upon this idea with vivid imagery and relatable experiences, making your poem not only accessible but also deeply moving.
  
  Here are a few suggestions for improvement that could enhance the impact even further:
  
  1. **Imagery Expansion:** While your imagery is already enchanting, considering adding more sensory details could create an even more immersive experience. For instance, when you mention "the wind" or "the rain," you could incorporate specific feelings or memories associated with those elements to paint a more vivid picture.
  
  2. **Rhythm and Meter:** While the flow of your poem is natural, you might consider refining the rhythm slightly to establish a more consistent meter. This added musicality can help to emphasize certain lines and enhance the overall reading experience.
  
  3. **Consolidation of Ideas:** Some lines carry similar sentiments; you might want to consolidate ideas for tighter phrasing and to strengthen your core message. This could also help maintain a brisk pace and keep the reader engaged.
  
  4. **Title Consideration:** A captivating title could draw the reader in even more. Maybe something like “Eternal Echoes” or “Everywhere, Always” would capture the essence of your poem while intriguing the audience.
  
  Overall, your poem is a touching tribute that beautifully tackles a difficult subject with grace and positivity. Keep up the fantastic work, and continue to write from your heart! Your words have the power to uplift and inspire many. more »

  LikeReply 14 days ago
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  Serenescripts

  Beautifully written

  LikeReply 16 days ago
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  Symmetry60

  Beautifully written piece that pertains to us all as per living and dying. I love the entire concept, and you worded it perfectly. Great piece, Kim. :-)

  LikeReply 16 days ago
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    Kimdhall83

    thank you for your kind comment

    LikeReply 16 days ago
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  JokerGem

  YES! YES! You came along with this shortly after I submitted my poem, "I Still See You (Dad)" which mirrors the theme here but on a more individual level. Feel free to check it out - but I love yours and is exactly how I feel! more »

  LikeReply 17 days ago
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    Kimdhall83

    Haha thank you so much, I read your poem and its so powerful. It's very good.

    LikeReply6 days ago
  • 

    JokerGem

    I thought you would like it based on the similarities and compatible theme between the two! I think you outdid me though with your more descriptive wording but l appreciate your reaction and kindness!

    LikeReply 15 days ago
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    Kimdhall83

    Thats the beauty of poetry, no-one out does anyone else because each piece is a personal reflection of something important to the individual.. yours is equally as powerful. X

    LikeReply 11 day ago
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  anglin1521

  I like this poem because it's true

  LikeReply 17 days ago