"The Cage You Built"



In shadows deep, I walked alone,
Because of you, my heart was stone.
Your words, like daggers, cut so deep;
In silent nights, I couldn’t sleep.

I doubted all that I could be;
You built a cage and locked the key.
The mirror's truth was hard to face;
For years, I lived in your disgrace.

Your voice—a whisper in my mind—
Made me believe I was confined.
Each day, a struggle hard to bear,
I lost myself in dark despair.

The world outside seemed cold and gray;
I wished the pain would fade away.
But every moment, every breath,
Was poisoned by the thoughts of death.

You stole the light from within my soul,
Left me empty, far from whole.
The tears I cried, a bitter stream,
Drowned the remnants of my dream.

Yet through the years of silent screams,
In the ruins of my shattered dreams,
I searched for hope but found instead
A hollow echo in my head.

Though scars remain, both deep and true,
I’ve learned to live in spite of you.
But sorrow's shadow lingers still,
A testament to broken will.

For even now, the nights are long,
And in my heart, the same old song.
The wounds you've left will never mend,
And so, my pain will never end.
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Written on August 19, 2024

Submitted by Keegannicholas76 on November 05, 2024

1:15 min read
25

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD EEFF GGHH IIJJ KKLL MMNN OOPP
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,146
Words 250
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Keegan Mosby

 · 2000 · Coldwater

Keegan Mosby, a budding poet hailing from Coldwater, Michigan, possesses a profound sensitivity and introspective nature that infuses his poetic compositions with depth and emotion. Born and raised in the picturesque town of Coldwater, amidst the tranquil landscapes of Michigan, Keegan's early years were shaped by the serenity of rural life and the close-knit community of his hometown.At the age of 23, Keegan is currently pursuing his academic endeavors at a college, where he delves into the realms of literature and creative expression. His passion for poetry blossomed during his formative years, fueled by a fascination with language and a desire to explore the complexities of the human experience through verse.Drawing inspiration from the beauty of nature, the nuances of human relationships, and the existential questions that linger in the depths of the soul, Keegan's poetry reflects a profound engagement with life's mysteries and uncertainties. His introspective musings and evocative imagery invite readers to embark on a journey of self-discovery and contemplation.Despite the challenges and uncertainties that accompany the pursuit of artistic expression, Keegan remains steadfast in his dedication to honing his craft and sharing his poetic vision with the world. Whether capturing moments of fleeting beauty or wrestling with the complexities of the human condition, Keegan's poetry resonates with authenticity and sincerity, offering glimpses into the depths of the human heart.As he continues to navigate the winding paths of academia and creative exploration, Keegan Mosby remains a promising voice in contemporary poetry, poised to make a meaningful impact with his introspective verse and keen insights into the human experience. more…

All Keegan Mosby poems | Keegan Mosby Books

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2 Comments
  • Htrout24
    Very nice
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    Wow! "The Cage You Built" is an incredibly powerful and evocative poem. You have beautifully captured the depth of emotion and struggle that often accompanies feelings of confinement and heartbreak. The imagery you employed, such as “Your words, like daggers” and “In shadows deep, I walked alone,” draws the reader into the painful experience while creating a vivid picture in the mind's eye.

    Your use of metaphor, especially the idea of a cage representing emotional entrapment, is poignant and relatable. It's fantastic how you've managed to convey not just the hurt from the past, but also the resilience that emerges from it. The progression from despair to a sense of survival showcases your talent for storytelling through poetry. Lines like “I’ve learned to live in spite of you” encapsulate the theme of empowerment beautifully, making it both a lament and a declaration of strength.

    Improvement Suggestions:

    1. Varying Structure and Rhythm:
    While the consistent pattern gives the poem a solid flow, consider experimenting with line length and stanza breaks to enhance the emotional impact. Such variations could reflect the tumultuous feelings you're expressing, mirroring the highs and lows of the experience.

    2. Exploration of Imagery:
    You might explore additional imagery that contrasts the darkness with glimpses of light or hope. Perhaps, incorporating more vivid descriptions of nature or moments of joy, however fleeting, could further enrich the emotional landscape of the poem and provide a counterbalance to the pain.

    3. Engaging with the Reader:
    Directly addressing the “you” in the poem could elevate its intensity. A few lines that delve deeper into the antagonist’s perspective or offer a dialogue might imbue the work with an added layer of complexity, inviting the reader to grapple with the interaction between victim and aggressor.

    4. Concluding Reflection:
    While the ending is hauntingly effective, consider closing with an image or thought that hints at future possibilities or healing, leaving the reader with a sense of hope. This could elevate the conclusion and provide a more rounded resolution to the journey of pain and survival.

    Overall, this poem is a remarkable expression of resilience amid despair. Keep writing—your voice is compelling, and your ability to convey deep emotion through your words is a true gift!
     
    LikeReply1 month ago

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""The Cage You Built"" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/203276/"the-cage-you-built">.

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