Beatnik and Barley

From 12 until 22
I spent most waking hours
under the influence of Cannabis
I couldn't sleep without it
I smoked tobacco as much as possible,
and at 19, once I could buy them,
I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day until 23

I was baptized by flames
The herb brought me to God through reggae
I dropped out of school, but I tuned out too
I turned off and I burned out

I grew some mushrooms
and I ate most of them
Then I did tune in and I quit smoking
And started lifting weights


But around 27
when my dad was in the hospital again
I spent a year or two binge-drinking Brandy from Friday night until Sunday morning
If I didn't already have no friends
I probably wouldn't have any after that
I wasn't very nice to myself
or the imaginary people I was drinking with

Then just before 29
I grew more mushrooms and ate a bunch
And quit drinking
And remembered the Redemption Song
from my pot-smoking days
I remembered I found Christ back then
And I rekindled my faith
Unorthodox as it may seem

I don't know if I love myself still
I love life though.