The Reason I Died While Remaining Alive

I'm sorry I never kissed you when we said Goodbye, Now I'm left destroyed, So many questions, what ifs and why's... On that fateful morning, I followed my head, not my heart, I left you alone, Not knowing we would soon forever part. Did you feel abandoned in your hour of need? I'm so sorry my Angel, The warning signs, I did not heed. Now I am forever haunted, finding you when I came home. Why the Hell did I leave you alone? That moment when I saw you, I knew instantly you had passed. The shock was way too much, I screamed and ran so fast... Like a bomb that exploded, deep within my heart, Not once had I ever envisioned us forever being apart... 6 years together, all over in a flash. Only memories now remain and an Urn full of ash....
I can't accept God's will, that it was your time to go but ever since that morning, I have wished that I could follow.. My love for you is impossible to express, let God be my witness that I tried my very best. I could not save you and Hell I so tried but the guilt is so strong in the way that you died... Day after Day, my heart screams another cry, I feel so responsible that I left you at home to die. I've never had to endure so much pain, my heart was ripped out and my soul slain... I must now wait for the Universe to decide my date, Please God, I beg you to take me to my soul mate...