Waiting to Die

Each day that you wake up is supposedly a good day
I know longer wish to wake up regardless of what they say
Sitting in silence, just staring at walls
Watching things around me that just make my skin crawl
Self-love and respect no longer exist
My feelings and opinions always dismissed
Not suicidal, but no will to live
I’ve been picked apart with nothing left to give
Constantly trying to smile and make myself happy
I embarrass myself by sounding so sappy
Hate the way I feel, but it’s something I just can’t shake
I can’t even get myself together for my childrens sake
What will it take to no longer feel this way?
Nothing seems to work not even when I pray
I’ve pushed through a lot, but when do you give up?
Bite my tongue to bottle my feelings, like drinking blood from a cup
I continue to try to keep my head held high
But the cold hard truth is I’m simply waiting to die