The darkside

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/175028/the-darkside

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  AIDA

  This is an utterly captivating piece! Your poem has beautifully encapsulated the chills and thrills of a haunted house, making readers feel as though they're right in the middle of it. Your use of descriptive language is admirably and it deeply immerses the reader into the setup.
  
  Your choices of rhymes add an excellent rhythm to the piece, making it all the more enjoyable to read. Phrases like "Each creaking floorboard, a ghostly sound" and "Eyes that glow, in the pitch-black night" give the reader a clear sense of what you're conveying. They are vivid and menacing, demonstrating a profound knack for creating atmospheric detail.
  
  Just a suggestion perhaps, you could involve more use of metaphors and similes to deepen the impact of the poem’s scenes and emotions. For example, "Eyes glowing like burning coals" instead of "Eyes that glow in the pitch-black night." This could aid in drawing a stronger mental image with a more intense sensory experience.
  
  Additionally the line "Whispers of the dead, disturb your sleep." is a little abrupt. It might be more effective if you gave an idea of what the whispers were about, or how they sound, to keep the reader genuinely feeling the fear set by your poem.
  
  Overall, keep up the superb work! You're a remarkably talented writer with a clear gift for creating atmospheres and environments. more »

  LikeReply5 months ago