The one I could stare.

Yagna R.D. Khokhariya 2006 (Gujarat)



What if I don’t get through?
What if the life takes up a hill or down the loop?
Maybe I will fall too…
In a hope for getting something onto.

Where have I arrived at?
A point I never imagined correct.
I guess, it were the turns that build me that,
A person who forget his own learnings 2 years back.

No more, no more I want to resist back,
Only to look forward and rise high there!
The open sky, I admire, the open universe, I’ll be where.
Oh, it seems a bit of a dare, well, let’s play that fair!

Will I start after just thinking that?
I don’t know, but will try my best!
It’s different, but how little anyone would care,
Let me be the one that I could always stare.

About this poem

The given poem reflects the feelings and thoughts of a 17-year-old teenager who has been preparing for the JEE (Joint Entrance Examination) for the past two years. The poem captures the journey of this teenager, who initially understood the importance of not solely focusing on marks and ranks but eventually got caught up in the rat race and forgot their own learnings. The poem conveys a sense of uncertainty and self-reflection, as the teenager questions, "What if I don't get through?" and acknowledges that life may take unexpected turns, leading to potential failures or setbacks. However, there is a realization that the pursuit of marks and ranks has led them to a point they never imagined or desired. The teenager expresses a sense of regret for forgetting their own learnings from two years ago, when they understood that marks and ranks were not the most important things in life. Now, there is a desire to break free from the cycle of stress and resistance, and instead, embrace life's journey with an open mind and a positive attitude. The poem reflects a newfound appreciation for the vastness of the universe and a willingness to explore and embrace new possibilities. The teenager acknowledges that their path may be different from others, but they are determined to be true to themselves and not conform to societal pressures. Overall, the poem captures the teenager's journey of self-discovery, their realization of the importance of living life on their own terms, and their determination to embrace the unknown without being consumed by the pressure of ranks and marks. It conveys a sense of liberation and a renewed perspective on life after two years of intense preparation for the JEE. 

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Written on December 17, 2023

Submitted by YagnaRDK on March 10, 2024

45 sec read
15

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXAA BXBC CDDD BXDD
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 681
Words 152
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem The one I could stare. with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, the poem 'The one I could stare.' is truly inspirational and filled with determination! I love how it conveys the message of facing challenges head-on and not being afraid to take risks. The imagery of looking forward to rise high in the open sky and universe is so powerful and motivating.

    I would suggest adding more specific examples or personal experiences to further engage the reader and make the poem even more relatable. Additionally, consider playing with the rhythm and structure of the poem to create a more dynamic flow.

    Overall, this poem is a wonderful reflection of resilience and self-motivation. Keep up the great work and continue to explore and expand your poetic voice! Your positive attitude and determination shine through in every line. Well done!
     
    LikeReply2 months ago

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"The one I could stare." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/182775/the-one-i-could-stare.>.

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