Traits

Sometimes I can't breathe or speak,
Yet I still open my mouth and impress upon the freedom of speech,
I cease seeking for what a desire seeks,
For the loss of what I didn't know how to keep,
Pushed aside emotions into compartmentalization,
Unsure what other men are seeing,
Instead I push to show transparency in my notions,
I know without intentions I lie without refraining,
Even though through trials I try to sustain honesty in transparent conduct,
Unsure if dependability or reliability is even a trait I've attained at all,
So persistent to persevere is that a trait to keep at all?