Analysis of The Day That I Died

I look at the floor, an empty pill bottle
Staring back at me.
I clutch tightly to the pills  that will finally set me free
I smile, and I laugh out loud to cover all the lies
I tell myself no more tears, there will be no last cry
I Close My Eyes waiting for an answer to the question that I fear
The thoughts in my head screaming to be heard,  but no one around to hear
I'm tired, I've given up. Will this decision set me free?
Or will my soul be damned in the afterlife, to that of purgatory
The pills await in my sweaty hands for the choice that i decide
It is my choice and I'm still here on the day I was suppose to die
My selfishness over powering, causing my sight to go blind
Thoughts of my life that I loved, returning strongly to my mind
For those few that I love and to the fewer who love me
Pain is not what i want, when they remember me
The pills are gone, thrown away with the darkness I had inside
Today will be the day, the day that I decided no to die