Analysis of The Patient Underling



Rise, tree of the nation
Borne from the admixture of silt and blood
Awaiting tributes like heroes’ graves,
Judgments of expectant machines expanding into branches
And cracking time’s reigns
Hastening its tear through the elemental night
Toward tomorrow,
And muttering one word in hopes of being heard
By the trunk.

The moonlight,
Having escaped the whole like lava from the earth,
Gleams upon its patchy portion of life,
Dispersed upon the naked boughs
In a layer of liquid sight.
So sad, the vacant vows
Birds’ nests disabused from larks who thought it home
Glistening, but unwelcome to the tongue
Frigid, but not white.

But ensconced like Moses’ gaze upon the bush,
Obscured from hungry heaven's jealous eyes
The taste of daytime lights upon two islands,
Now a continent.
A bomb that hates fire, its father, explodes
And knocks tongues dead
To terrorize the heart with delight.
Lungs free of warlike moss,
Both hands intact,
Stomachs ache only for more
But not anything;
The islands listen to the movements of their mantle
And break apart into silt after years,
Moments in the life of the land,
To feed the roots and chase machine judgments up the tree,
Which will try with all nobility
To anchor the earth when the last storm comes.

Chase an automated death;
When the reigns are noticed torn
— Distressed and threadbare for a nation’s flog —
Tie them,
So the tree can rise and raze the sky,
And feed the machines with self-regard,
Dosed to last one slumber
And lost in the lazy laughter of ten years hence.


Scheme XXXXXAXXX AXXBABXXA XXXXXXAXXXXXXXCCX XXXXXXXX
Poetic Form
Metre 111010 11011101 010101101 101010010100110 01011 10011100101 0101 010011011101 101 01 100101110101 1011101011 01010101 00101101 110101 11001111111 1001010101 10111 10111010101 0111010101 0111101110 10100 01111011001 0111 11001101 11111 1101 1011011 1110 0101010101110 0101011101 10001101 1101010110101 111110100 1100110111 111001 1011101 010110101 11 101110101 010011101 111110 010010101111
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,527
Words 288
Sentences 7
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 9, 9, 17, 8
Lines Amount 43
Letters per line (avg) 28
Words per line (avg) 6
Letters per stanza (avg) 302
Words per stanza (avg) 66

About this poem

This poem was initially about a park where I spent a good deal of my adolescence. After a massive rewrite, it became about nationalism. Although beauty, innocence, and connection are possible (as depicted in the middle of the poem), ultimately it ends and is passed by in favor of belonging to a society that requires its people to compete for its approval by trying to be as machine-like as possible, in work and in outlook, and ultimately becoming as inflexible as machines. The "underling" is not, however, the person or individual; it is nationalism itself, which sees itself as God's underling, and its "patience" is based in its belief that it can overthrow or become God, but it is mistaken: "the tree. ..will try with all nobility/To anchor the earth when the last storm comes," implying that it will try but fail. 

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Written on November 26, 2022

Submitted by markludas on November 26, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:26 min read
48

Mark Ludas

I was born in 1982 and grew up in Middletown, NY. I took to writing at a very young age and poetry in particular in high school. I'm a published fiction author as well as a musician, actor, and fitness professional, and I enjoy movies, bowling, interior design, and learning about my two archenemies: imperialism and neoliberalism. more…

All Mark Ludas poems | Mark Ludas Books

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