Analysis of The Story of Us

I caught your eye one day as I was walking down the hall,
A blush rushed up my cheeks, you almost made me trip and fall.
I felt your eyes following me as I continued on,
But didn’t dare look back until I knew that you were gone.

We’d sit together in geometry but never speak,
Whenever you weren’t looking I would take a little peek,
Your eyes were the most beautiful that I had ever seen,
But I just knew that you could never love someone like me.

I looked forward to math because it’s the one class we share,
But one day I walked in and noticed that you weren’t there.
I worried, and I waited, but you never did show,
And then the bell rang signaling that it was time to go.

The next day you were back, but your hair was a knotted mess,
Your eyes were red and puffy, I could see you were distressed.
I put my hand on yours, and then I asked you what was wrong,
You said that you just couldn’t keep pretending to be strong.

You said that you came out and told your parents you were gay,
You said they kicked you out, just went and threw their child away.
You said you had nowhere to go and no reason to be,
And then you said you’re sorry for dumping all this on me.

I looked into your eyes and told you it would be okay,
I said that I could help provide you somewhere safe to stay,
I told you don’t give up, I made you promise to live on.
I told you the world wouldn’t be the same if you were gone.

You met my eyes and nodded and released a shaky breath,
You promised me you wouldn’t lead yourself into your death.
From then on you were better, but I knew you needed time,
That it would be a bit before you were completely fine.

My parents both agreed to let you stay in our spare room,
But under the condition that you find your own place soon.
We’d stay up late, the two of us, and talk and laugh and joke,
I’d soak up every laugh and every single word you spoke.

Then one night I gathered my courage and gave you a kiss,
You kissed me back, the feeling leaving me in utter bliss.
From then on we were different, something special, something more,
And then you had to ruin it and walk right out the door.

I still remember when I found that note atop your desk,
You said that you just couldn’t do it, you wanted to rest.
I should have seen the signs, I should have known you were upset,
Now sitting on the floor in tears I’m filled with such regret.

I should have loved you more, I should have told you you should stay,
Should have given you more reasons not to take your life away.
Now I’m left alone with memories I wish I could forget,
Because thinking of you now just slices deeper in my chest.

I still see you though, you follow me, make sure I’m not alone.
You look just like you did, a perfect holographic clone.
I know that it’s not you but still pretend to keep me sane,
I can’t accept your death, I just can’t handle that much pain.

I talk to you, you know, hoping to garner a reply,
But you never respond, and I give up with a small sigh,
I miss your voice, I miss your laugh, I miss it when you sang,
The memories of us will always fill me with a pang.

I can’t take it anymore, the sadness buried in my heart,
I think I need to leave, to take a break, to hit restart.
I hold your hand atop the roof, your skin so very soft.
Then side by side in unison, we take that last step off.