Analysis of Sadness
Gillian Stanford-Cienfuegos 1987 (Arlington Heights, IL)
It’s dark again
And the day’s about to start
My ribs feel broken
From trying to protect my heart
‘Cause Just when I think
I could maybe be happy
My sadness
…just won’t let me
And just when I say,
"Maybe there’s more to life for me"
Like a train, it stops on its tracks
About to hit somebody
It’s the deepest blue
It’s a never-satisfied gray
It’s the most morbid kind of black
It’s a sunless May
Doesn’t matter if the sun is shining
It will make itself known
If it feels like time is working in my favor
Then it feels most at home
It’s my guardian ghost
It won’t leave me alone
I wouldn’t know what to do
If I didn’t have it
It grips its hands around my throat
And makes me choke without it
When I try to scream
It takes my voice and keeps my silent
It takes away my free will
Makes me dream of violence
It whispers like a bully in my ear
It manipulates my environment
to seem like it cares
It takes my hazel eyes
And trades them for blank stares
It lies and says it’s trying
to make me more aware
It takes every single
mildly glimmering moment from me
The laughter, the sand beneath my feet, & anyone that seemingly loves me
It tells me to fight when there’s no war
It tells me to give up when I’m not done trying
It tells me "it’s hopeless"
And it scares me ‘cause it can be so convincing
I forget that it’s lying
I know I know better
But inside I’m dying
If you could just leave
I won’t ask for anything else
In this life or the next
Over fame and wealth
This isn’t a game
This is my health
But it still feels like it’s a life
I’ve chosen for myself
The only thing that keeps me sane
Is knowing "this too shall pass"
Because even the worst hurricanes
Can never last
The only way I can win
Is to not give up
Even when it doesn’t want me here
I’ll continue to show up
I’ve found a way that I can conquer
What it fears
I’ll wake up each day
And through my tears
I’ll simply… live.
Scheme | XAXA XBCB DBXB EDXD FGHX XG EIXI XJXX KJLXLFX XBBXFCFFHF XXXMXMXX XXXX XNKN HXDLX |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 1101 0010111 11110 11010111 11111 1110110 110 1111 01111 10111111 10111111 011110 10101 1010101 10110111 1011 110101110 111011 111111100110 111111 111001 111101 111111 11111 11110111 0111011 11111 111101110 1101111 1111100 1101010011 101010100 11111 111101 011111 1101110 111101 1110010 101001011 01001011110110011 111111111 111111111110 111110 011111111010 1011110 111110 101110 11111 1111101 011101 10101 1101 1111 11111101 11011 01011111 1101111 01100110 1101 0101111 11111 10111111 1010111 110111110 111 11111 0111 1101 |
Closest metre | Iambic trimeter |
Characters | 1,994 |
Words | 431 |
Sentences | 1 |
Stanzas | 14 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 2, 4, 4, 7, 10, 8, 4, 4, 5 |
Lines Amount | 68 |
Letters per line (avg) | 21 |
Words per line (avg) | 6 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 104 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 27 |
About this poem
I have had chronic depression since I was 15 years old (I’m 35 now). This is a look into a depressive episode.
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"Sadness" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 3 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/163882/sadness>.
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