Analysis of I Forgot your Birthday



11:09
The ticking of time, frozen in such a silent space.
I find myself listening to a chime, but yet,
Second to the focus surrounding my pain.

Rain
The pounding of water, drowning all that it sees.
Though the picture I see, hung with purpose, but yet,
Ever changing is the vista on its frame.

Thoughts
Wandering and chaotic, fleeting and yet never ending.
I see this tree, alone in my frame and in this vista Im lost, but yet,
Sensing my way through a cloud of frustration.

Fear
Less as time travels on, suppressed into a soul shaped from its scar.
I think that now I can reclassify it as ignorance, but yet,
It remains as that which I cannot take away.

Obstacles
Ungrounded at five, to be soon grounded again for life.
I begin to construct a reason in my mind, but yet,
There they all are set to remain, to be conquered or left unchanged.

Purpose
Stubbornness unfurled, its change that must be made,
Though they walk right by, me, a mere tree in a frame, but yet,
The growth is there to be observed.

11:10
The metaphor grows a bit thin.
In coming back to the moment I remember that there is work left to do, but yet,
I will not be making a phone call today.


Scheme AXBC CXBX XXBX XXBD XXBX XXBX AXBD
Poetic Form
Metre 1 0101110010101 11110010111 10101001011 1 010110101111 101011111011 10101010111 1 100001010011010 111101011001101111 10111011010 1 1111010101011111 1111110101110011 101111110101 100 111111100111 10110101001111 1111110111101101 10 10001111111 11111101100111 01111101 1 01001011 010110101010111111111 11111001101
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,171
Words 249
Sentences 13
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Lines Amount 28
Letters per line (avg) 32
Words per line (avg) 8
Letters per stanza (avg) 128
Words per stanza (avg) 32

About this poem

This was written when i was in a poetry workshop that was livestreamed. I was looking out of my window watching my neighbors walk by a tree in my yard and got to thinking about how I was adopted and the way that had made me feel lonely as a kid. As an adult, it has altered my overall relationship with my parents and it comes to mind while watching the rain fall in my window.

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Written on July 10, 2023

Submitted by npokelley86 on July 10, 2023

1:14 min read
43

Nicholas O'Kelley

A skilled program manager, industrial engineer, and radio personality with 10+ years of professional experience working with Mercedes-Benz, Vans Division, Google, and various radio platforms specializing in program management, lean manufacturing, MTM analyses, ergonomics and vocal performance. more…

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