Analysis of Goodbye Eyes



If I could have listened I might have heard.. Death hurts only for those of us left behind..
Clinging to things ungraspable, now gone yet
At ease are the ones moving on that don't bother to mind.
She said wordlessly with a look of peace
Unlike a mask upon her face
Rather a state of mind that permeated the room
Allowing calm contentment and serenity to sweep  any snippets of concern out the door as if with a soft bristled broom...
And so I sat as slender frail fingers outstretched silently asking for my hand to join her's at her side
And my quivering voice sang in her stead as she lay there in bed, both grateful she had at least once been my bride.

And so I sang.. softly, trembling yet as steady as I could, I shook just like the birch leaves wavering in a brisk foretelling autumn breeze.
And I cried as tears one making way for the next together forming rivulets down my weathered cheeks, caressing my knee to spatter upon the wood floor beneath my feet.

Yet amidst all of this letting go, this anguish mixed with visions of emptiness to come, there stood still, in the middle, something else. It was at the core of it all, nearly concealed by the expectations of grief which if allowed, would steal any comfort as if a thief sneaking off into the moonless night.
Yet as it was, the mist in my eyes began to settle, the well began to dry, the warmth of an unseen sun slowly spread inside my bones. I met her gaze with my eyes, she peered right through mine and we reveled in the moment knowing in each other we'd found home...


Scheme AXAXXBBCC XX XX
Poetic Form
Metre 111110111111101111101 10111111 11101101111011 11110111 01010101 100111110001 01010100010011101010110111101101 01111101100110010111111101 011001100111110111011111111 01111010011101111111011100001010101 0111111011010101011110101011110010110111 1011111011101110110011111001010111101111100110010111101111010110110101011 111101011011100101110111011101011111011111111101100010100110111
Characters 1,550
Words 303
Sentences 13
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 9, 2, 2
Lines Amount 13
Letters per line (avg) 93
Words per line (avg) 22
Letters per stanza (avg) 403
Words per stanza (avg) 97

About this poem

This is simultaneously my personal contemplation of the grieving process associated with death and the expression of hope for a partnership with certain similarities of the one I witnessed between my parents. It is an attempt at expressing the paradox of gratitude and grief existing at once...

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Written on January 30, 2021

Submitted by Metalmonkey3rd on January 22, 2024

1:31 min read
54

Atis

From a young age Atis had identified as being an outcast, different from most and at times struggled with mental health. He would explore a variety of self help tools ranging from exercise programs, nutrition, nature immersion and vairious mindfulness practices including exploring the power of language. This path led him to facilitate a number of support groups, working in the behavioral health field, becoming involved in systems reform, speaking publicly about his experiences and developing the Power of Perspective workshop from the very tools that have helped him achieve his own personal transformation. Today Atis continues to work in the behavioral health field, speak at CIT training events, facilitate self empowerment workshops and write about his lived experiences. You can find Atis following his bliss in the rockies with his friends by playing in nature either surfing, riding his mountain or motor bikes, camping, making music creating art in various forms and of course, writing. more…

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