Analysis of Detective noir story (poems 9,10 and 11)



I found my landlord on the building stoop
 Couldn't tell if he was packed, but eyes blasting
 I gave him a yard, I thought he might whoop
 He was happy, knew it wouldn't be lasting

He said “if I don't see more in five weeks
 I am painting it and raising your rent”
I got my key and recalled how he reeks
 I shaved my beard or at least made a dent

Took a long hot shower and embraced sleep
 I had dreamed a doll brushed hair from my eyes
 Then the Ameche rang, woke with a leap
“This is Liela” spoke dove's voice full of sighs

“Hi Leila! Where's John?” I said like a sap
 She breathed “In hour four of an eight hour nap”

“You are the fifth dirty P.I. I called”
Her voice like honey, “what John said you were”
 “Don't folks mind being called at three” I drawled
“A bit” She purred, “They ask me by”, “even her?”

I asked “especially the hers” said mild
“Private Detectives had five Smiths listed
 I dialed until I reached you” said the child
“I like it at John's place, it's forested

When John sleeps I enjoy the shining lake
 His help scrams until eight when I am here
 They're so sweet to me, everything's Jake
 Walking the middle for this gives me fear”

I caught her drift. She wanted her own poke
 She bade me dreams. “Don't get bit” was her joke

I can guess her angle, ducking bullets
 And rice may or may not be worth the risk
 John's in a business where they slit gullets
 If her groom died she'd get out of their brisk

Don't deal with shysters, have built up rhino
 Have a packed keister, empty out the box
 And drift through the shadows like a wino
 Could use one who knows John's beans like a fox

A shamus like me. Sheba she may be
 I'll get my piece of the pie and run out
 She won't have to rub me out to be free
 Can live on a keister of kale no doubt

I dreamed of walking on the beach with her
 I wouldn't jog, she did 'til she was a blur


Scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GG HIHI JKJK LXLX MM XNCN OPOP QRQR II
Poetic Form
Metre 111110101 10111111110 1110111111 11101110110 1111111011 1110101011 1111001111 1111111101 1011100011 1110111111 1001011101 111111111 1101111101 110101111101 110110111 0111011110 1111011111 01111111100 110100011 1001011110 11001111101 1111111100 1111010101 1110111111 11111101 1001011111 1101110011 1111111101 1110101010 0111111101 100101111 1011111111 111101111 10110010101 011011010 1111111101 0101110111 1111101011 1111111111 11101001111 1111010110 11011111101
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,871
Words 371
Sentences 9
Stanzas 12
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 2, 4, 4, 4, 2, 4, 4, 4, 2
Lines Amount 42
Letters per line (avg) 33
Words per line (avg) 9
Letters per stanza (avg) 116
Words per stanza (avg) 31
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Submitted on October 08, 2013

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:56 min read
2

karl stuber

This is a picture from my garden. more…

All karl stuber poems | karl stuber Books

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    "Detective noir story (poems 9,10 and 11)" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 10 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/69444/detective-noir-story-%28poems-9%2C10-and-11%29>.

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