Analysis of The foxhole



The silence...
The stillness
Akin to shadows, long fingers reach
Warriors and I
Lie here in the hallow
Fear…beside us, beseech!

Where is the enemy?
Whispers seem to ring out
Lips from my fingers, keeps head from arise
To quell eager peering about

I am a boy
But, this night, man become I
I and my buddies…
Too young, aren’t prepared to die

Onto their arms I do grab
Keeping their lives from growing all too short
Then, echoes…echoes. ..Breaking the silence of the still
A loud shot! Reports….

The one…
Then two!
A hail of missiles, I bring up my gun
Dirt spraying from every direction, which way do I shoot?

What I do not have…is…
Time! Time to think
I throw up my machine gun, blindly, not looking…
Squeezing the trigger, RAT TAT TAT… in frenzy, RAT TAT TAT…spitting instinct

Adrenaline rushing, surging!
Beads of sweat freefall to roll
Fingers tighten, muscles tauten
Madness besieging to depths of soul

Then my redden swelling ears take heed
From behind comes most frantic, deafening scream
Victory, exhilaration, hopes of my enemies all relieved!

It’s Johnny who’s been hit! Red river flows his crimson streams
I’m sobbing; I’m cradling him and shouting “YOU CANNOT DIE!”
Then I whisper…come back to life “Johnny, please, Johnny please"

Unnoticed to me, the stillness returns once more and then a paper…a letter… silently floats to the floor
It’s the words like bullets that hit me, penned from his wife…
“I love you so much, the war will be over in just a short time; make sure you come back to me…
Come back to me alive”


Scheme XXABXA CDXD XBEB XXXX FXFX XXGX GHFH XXX XBE XXCX
Poetic Form Tetractys  (28%)
Metre 010 010 01111101 10001 110010 101101 110100 101111 1111011101 11101001 1101 1111011 10110 11100111 1011111 1011110111 1101010010101 01101 01 11 0111011111 110110001011111 111111 1111 111101110110 100101110101111010 01001010 111111 1010101 100101111 111010111 10111101001 1000010111100101 11011111011101 110110010101101 11101111101101 010110100111010100101001101 1011101111111 11111011110010111111111 111101
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,539
Words 272
Sentences 15
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 6, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 3, 4
Lines Amount 40
Letters per line (avg) 30
Words per line (avg) 7
Letters per stanza (avg) 119
Words per stanza (avg) 27
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Submitted on May 01, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:21 min read
1

Nighttiger

A fortyish native born all American man. Married twice and for the last time. I have four children; Three daughters and one son that are all over the age of eighteen. I also have two grandchildren; one three years old and one nine months old. Inspired by God, tragedy, life's experiences and then a fairy tale love. I never intentionally set out to write poetry, but "She" inspired me. "She" meaning the love of my life. That love is a passion that after thirteen years still grows stronger each and every day. It eventually had to be put into writing. As I wrote poetry to her, she encouraged me to approach other subjects. Doing so brought me to discover that poetry could wash away the bitter tastes of life (suicide, cancer, and divorce) that were still living like demons inside me. So when poetic therapy brought those impish fiends to a stalemate, I began to experiment more. Creating fictional characters and situations within my works. The support of this online community has inspired me even further to continue to hone my writing skills giving the readers the best that I can offer. Thanks to all you out there in Lulu land. more…

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