Collision Course by Lawerence E. Mize
On a collision course,
Don't know why.
Thoughts of Nam
Make me cry.
Cast adrift
In a sea of the past.
PTSD has claimed me.
Lord, long at last.
Don't know where I'm going.
Only where I've been.
Memories of Nam
Keep reeling me in.
Older now,
Haven't grown.
Stuck in Southeast Asia
Hearing helpless moans.
Saw men die.
Bore witness to it all.
Like sticks of wood
They had to fall.
Feel the shame
For what I've done.
No one to blame;
I'm the only one.
Bear the guilt for leaving
Those I had come to know.
I had to live.
They had to go.
I didn't pick
And couldn't choose.
God took his numbers.
They flashed them on the news.
Want to let go.
Be rid of the dreams.
Forget the faces.
Turn off the screams.
I struggle to cope.
Try to blend in.
Be like everyone else.
Forget where I've been.
I'm a cop, a cop...
Neighbor's best friend.
Searching for answers.
Waiting for the end.
Some call me hero.
Don't know why.
I fought to live.
Tried hard not to die.
I've survived.
Made it this far.
Fight the urge
To belly up to a bar.
I stand on corners.
Holding my sign.
Beg for pennies.
Committing no crimes.
I'm housed in prisons
All across the land.
Say, brother...
Won't you lend me a hand.
I'm at the VFW.
American Legion too.
Joined the many.
Part of the few.
I want to understand.
Know the why.
My friends...my friends
Had to die.
About this poem
This was one of my first poems I ever published in my first little book of poetry titled Tortured Soul in 1997 when I first began to deal with my issues of PTSD from Vietnam. That first collection is long out of print and the publisher no longer exists so I published it again in My Long Journey in Baltimore, Dorrance Publishing 2019. A lot of veterans suffer from PTSD and it continues to cling and hold us long after our service. I just thought it was worth bringing out again.
Written on June 01, 1983
Submitted by larrymize on July 10, 2022
Modified on March 21, 2023
- 1:43 min read
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Quick analysis:
Scheme | xAba xcdc efbf xxxx agxg hihi ejkj xlml jnxn xfxf xomo jAka xpxp mxxx xqxq krdr qaxa |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic dimeter |
Characters | 1,335 |
Words | 329 |
Stanzas | 17 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 |
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"Collision Course by Lawerence E. Mize" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/133232/collision-course-by-lawerence-e.-mize>.
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