heaven is a bit too far to reach

I still vividly remember the day,
the day ma left us and went far away
how four years ago she couldn’t get herself  to stay
& me papa and her went to the church to pray.
papa said we must learn to be grateful
but now that on that I have so much taken away from me
I think it’s okay for me a tad bit hateful
we got into the car, ready to thank god for the perfect life he sent us from above
we were waiting to say our thanks, clear and aloud
we drove for a while i guess a mile, our faces covered with smiles
right then a truck came right onto our direction
couldn’t papa have been a little bit more careful?
the next thing i remember my eyes were fighting to open
and once they did, all they saw were multiple eyes filled with sorrow looking down towards the bed me and papa laid on.
let’s just say a few days later you were laid on a bed of a different kind
everyone but you was dressed in white
it was the last time we saw you, the time we bid you a final goodbye
so now, every night I stare at the sky
wondering how four years ago it could’ve been me,
wondering if me and ma would ever get a change again, to go on a mother daughter date?
then I see my mother,
standing there in white
my hands numben, my teeth start to quiver.
she’s standing there, in my room
I run to hug her, but she disappears
the next night ma appears again.
I run to her but i pass right though her
she tells me to stop, tells me that we have a lot to talk about
we sit for a while, have a conversation that was long due
i kept thinking,  receiving a mother like her was a blessing to only a few
then i remember, i’m no more part of the “few”
the following night i see her again
she’s standing in my room
I pick up a stool and jump onto the bed
I think that caused a far more than few scratches on my head
i stand still, waiting for me to comprehend what’s happening
i crave for her comfort, this feels unreal, like i’m no part of this world
towards ma, i start running
but this time when i hug her, i feel her hands
that’s when reality had slipped from my hand
that’s when ma and i, were side by side
the next morning on the news,
the display states” a teenage girl committed suicide”.