I SIT HERE WITH MYSELF NOT LIKE I DID BEFORE

I sit here alone inside this room
yet I know she is right in bed next to me
I have no crystal ball I meditate to clear my mind this time last year I knew neither her nor peace
all I knew was the years of hatred and guilt. and pain that still in moments I struggle with

I sit here craving a drink then I think of my angels' words
it is either me or the alcohol you can not have both choose wisely because at my weakness I still wrap my arms around you

She tells me I know they are all calling you back the demons which you  try so hard to hide some are things that you hold some wear masks and call themselves friends telling you what they want you to hear and not what you need to be told

I tell you this my last true love you no longer sit alone like you did last year inside these cold winters nights
she tells me to come back to bed so forever we can keep each other warm

Between the past and the future, I am torn
but now  I sit here not the same man I was before
knowing each moment is being born