Nine

my childhood is mostly a blur,
like morning fog after rain,
but there are a few memories
that are clearer than day.

one I'll never forget
is at the age of nine,
when most children play in the sun,
my first thought of death entered my mind.

It left for a while
but was a frequent visitor,
it was allergic to sun
and only came in horrendous weather.

after years went by
my sunny days lessened
the thought of death
became more frequent.

now that I'm seventeen
and adulthood is calling,
precious sunshine is gone
and everyday it's storming.