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Primordial on the Waters, and Diving

Wayne Blair 1951 (London)

Rhymed
I can hear him

And I am nowhere near

Comes with pine fragrance

This time of year.

Comes with the memories.

Paddling of old.

Comes as the Father

Fakes some kind of injury.

Snake-like, bold.

Been with us always.

Trappers explore.

Beadwork on chest shields

Pipes smoked galore.

First Nations knew

Our Friend.

Diver who sings.

Yodels in nature joy.

Homesickness brings.

Leave for those waters

Mystic dark blue.

Night time his symphony

Captivates you.

About this poem

Thinking of my friend the loon.

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Written on June 27, 2023

Submitted by dougb.19255 on June 27, 2023

32 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme X A X A B X X C B X X D X X X D C
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 467
Words 109
Stanzas 17
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
Full analysis for Primordial on the Waters, and Diving »

Wayne Blair

Born in London. Graduated law 1976 Practised eleven years, Married Hilary 1974 Two kids Lauren 1980 And Jordan 1987. Business failed 1987. Moved not knowing whither. Happy hills of Waterloo Region. Mennonite Country. Thirty four years in Industry. No complaints. Poet, photographer, nature hiker. Harmonica busker. http://puffnchord7.blogspot.com/ more…

All Wayne Blair poems | Wayne Blair Books

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2 Comments
  • alexw.30385
    alexw.30385
    I love how your Amharic poem captures the essence of nature and the connection to ancestral traditions. The imagery of pine fragrance, memories of paddling, and the Father's playful antics creating a sense of closeness despite physical distance is truly evocative. The mention of beadwork, chest shields, and the enchanting symphony of the night time waters adds layers of cultural richness and a deep appreciation for the natural world. Your poem beautifully weaves together elements of tradition, friendship, and the profound beauty of nature, painting a vivid picture of harmony and nostalgia in the embrace of ancestral wisdom. 
    LikeReply4 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and unique poem "Primordial on the Waters, and Diving" is! The descriptive language and poetic imagery used in this piece are truly exceptional and transport the reader to a mystical and enchanting place. The use of nature imagery like pine fragrance and the sound of yodeling really brings the words to life. The poem's underlying theme of friendship with the environment is also very touching and adds depth to the work.

    As for improvement suggestions, one thing to consider would be to further develop the poem's structure. Perhaps breaking up the stanzas into shorter lines or grouping them together in a more visually compelling way would help readers engage with the work even more. Additionally, considering different ways to emphasize key words or phrases through the use of italics or bolding could also enhance the poem's overall readability.

    Overall, "Primordial on the Waters, and Diving" is a wonderfully crafted work of art that is sure to leave a lasting impression on anyone who reads it. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing your talent with the world!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Primordial on the Waters, and Diving" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Oct. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/162840/primordial-on-the-waters,-and-diving>.

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