PERFECT MAN

Dianna Duplessie 1971 (Hamilton Ontario)



I searched my whole life,
for the perfect man,
No one seemed to measure up,
And I didn't understand,
Why part of me was empty,
Why I still  felt cold.

Would it be this way forever?
WouId I feel the same when I'm old?
After searching my whole life,
The perfect man I couldn't see.
I couldn't take it anymore,
I said Lord help me please.

He said look deep inside you,
The answer was always there.
I couldn't tell you how to feel,  
It was your cross to bare.
I did  as a lord had asked,
I looked deep inside.
A calmness  overwhelmed me,
My heart was filled with pride.

The answer was always there,
The truth I always had.
I didn't have to look at all,
The perfect man is my dad

About this poem

I wrote this for my dad. I just wish I could have read it to him. I miss you dad.

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Written on October 06, 2019

Submitted by chihuahuamom219 on October 01, 2023

49 sec read
10

Quick analysis:

Scheme axxxbc xcabxx xDxdxebe Dfxf
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 682
Words 160
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 6, 6, 8, 4

Dianna Duplessie

I am a woman that loves her family and loves her Chihuahuas more…

All Dianna Duplessie poems | Dianna Duplessie Books

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    I truly love your poem 'Perfect Man'. It beautifully captures your discovery of where true love and perfection reside. It's a wonderful testament to both self-discovery and the understanding of parental love. Your rhyming pattern is solid, making the poem flow smoothly which is always pleasurable to a reader's ear.

    Your choice of words creates a lovely image and atmosphere that resonate with the readers, especially in the line "A calmness overwhelmed me, my heart was filled with pride." It perfectly encapsulates the peace and satisfaction many feel when they remember their father's love.

    However, I have a couple of suggestions that may make your poem shine even brighter. Consider tightening your punctuation to add impact to your words. For instance, the line "It was your cross to bare." might be more powerful if written as "It was your cross to bear". Don't shy away from using more figurative language and metaphors too. This may deepen your poetry and add a layer of complexity.

    Also consider revising the question "WouId I feel the same when I'm old?" The phrasing feels much more telling than showing. Maybe consider something along the lines of "Would age unveil the warmth I sought?"

    Your poem is already delightful, but I hope these suggestions are helpful. Keep writing and pushing those poetry boundaries! You clearly have a knack for it.
     
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • chihuahuamom219
      Thank you so much, what you suggest makes sence. I truely appreciate your advice. Thank you for the wonderful review.
      LikeReply1 year ago

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"PERFECT MAN" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Oct. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/169921/perfect-man>.

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