Tears in my coffee
Charles Fields II 1955 (Fort Bragg, NC)
remnants of a sleepless nights marathon
of grief and sorrow
in a constant recall loop
second guessing myself
my mind in instant rewind
my actions reassessed
all momentum lost
stuck in the same old rut
not sure if was worth the fuss
gauging what i've lost
could i have done any better
Coffee stuck on the bottom of a saucer
Bearing tears
to feel the need the need to cry
Yet, i cannot release
no matter how i try
Still i can't hold back
Something within
swells like a sail caught up suddenly
by the suction of the wind
Like sunlight bearing upon my skin
My pain becomes a tide inside
one place
i cannot hide
No, it is not pride
i am losing more
than you could ever imagine
Though still i ride on
Suffering a loss no one sees
But me
Perhaps where did i go, you ask
My answer is as usual i do not know
Truthfully as if it were to be lost
in places i cannot ever hope
Or pretend to know
to defend the surreal
The storm inside comes
rising like angry seas
And who am i to stand up
alone to the fury Of the storm
What i feel i must do As if
From some imagined sin
which must be atoned
Lightning strikes
am i mistaken
or is my conscience
The resurfacing threat
and not the lie of a pretense
my sentence in a trial
where you don't have to be
A devil to be sent to HELL
One hell of a scene
as if within a dream
Somewhere i'd never been
and would not know
If you'd warned me but you cannot
your lips are sealed
whether by chance or circumstance
Did i find you or did you find me
Untrue to what it is we share
whenever it is, we care
Not trapped by the absurdities
of others lives
And you as a lover of the dance
to find you immobilized
That will never do as long as i am alive
Even as a ghost if i ever become spiritualized
No... The music i have heard inside is not of you
It is you Come join me if you can in truth
Rebel in another sense Take my mind
Let us become entwined about one another
In a higher sense
other than now By unfinished arguments
in essence A lack of ability to overcome our differences
And make greater progress
Propelled by silence and places i cannot enter
When you have made it clear all is not well
Am i to become a leaf out of reach
of the heart of the tree out of season
to survive for what i cannot provide for reasons of clarity of necessity
Yet clearly not apparent
Momentarily in suspension
Caught up in different dimensions
of the same universe
we toil along on different paths
To reach for and to seek to grasp a spark
While sharing in our hearts a place of calm serene
Between dreams and the alternate reality
Staring deeply at us from afar tumbling rapidly
Down a sharp incline we are together
To what end We do not know
Still, to hold on requires of me and you
All of what we have together and apart
Although our shadows speak in wavelengths
Of a distant star in the hourglass
A sandstorm has ensued
Suspending all but the time we have Left To do
what we must do even while being Immersed
repeatedly in forward and reverse
Riding a wild stallion
holding on as if survival
depended upon it
Knowing instinctively
We can't fall off
until it's over
for better or worse
We are parted
and as wind no longer held aloft
We are once and forever lost
fallen to earth
Dispersed
C2
Copyright ©2023 CEF2
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Written on 2018
Submitted by Charles2 on October 06, 2023
- 3:47 min read
- 7 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | AB XC DX EX XE F FX GX G X HID HJ XJ JXK ALI XB EX BX XL XX XH D XK XX MN IO PX HB XX QI RR LX QX XD SX DFM XX XF OXK I XK XT XX PI IF BS XX XX SX TK NX IX FT XX EX C |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 3,334 |
Words | 751 |
Stanzas | 56 |
Stanza Lengths | 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 2, 3, 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1 |
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"Tears in my coffee" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/170244/tears-in-my-coffee>.
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