This state of life as of now

As the foggy day had dawned it matches my feeling deprived of joy and light of sun
for a tired and pain of soul of this life to  partake of thebloving and kind for their  use has left such a  bruse turned into a cancer to envelope not just my body yet from within &it seemed to spread with false lovers that I so believed to be true yet blacking  in view when no choice to see the true hue same as  the entinty's I mistakenly called friends to show they was  only people in need  and knew  to help  I would  indeed yet not really sure of why I only wanted to be me yet never knew the truth and darkness of those I wiped the eyes that cried created a hatred  of beings like  me, for  of good heart was my fault you see that is  why I won't survive and to find peace I seek to be released  and free to unwind the ravel of the fault of the loving and kind.