18 Years

tears water my pillow case as i take a deep breath in

I am beautiful, smart, and kind
I make my bed in the morning,
I am a shoulder to lean on,
I study hard and perform well
but above all, I am patient
I've been patient for 18 years, praying, hoping, that my love would come along,
yet I lie alone.
yes, I love my freedom and recklessness,
but I despise the loneliness that impinges my heart.

I give myself away to all the wrong men, who taste until they are full, then leave me behind

When will I finally be nourishing enough to love without my hips as fuel, my lips as nutrients, and my chest as aliment?
Please, let my heart be the sustenance enough to not walk away.