Vignetted By Sunday

It’s a Sunday morning, I’ve decided
when I finally get that call.
I’ll be turning round the spoon
in my chipped teacup counterclockwise
like you told me works best.
I weaned myself off all the sugar,
but I’d insist honey can’t hurt.

It might take the sweetness from it
though, to hear it word for word
how you fought so bravely
in the end; how you left so gently.
Condolences getting lost amongst the
scatter of broken porcelain.

They’ll say ‘it gets easier’
but I reckon it might take me a while.
A minute or two to catch my breath.
A day to dry my eyes.
A year, probably more, to get back on my feet.
Doesn’t have to be that long — just forever, maybe.

I wonder where they’ll bury you.
If there’s sunlight enough in no man’s land
for mayflowers to take root.
If there’s room enough for two.
At least if I die of love, it means I’ll know for certain that I lived by it too.

And we could do this dance for decades
without either of us noticing the music
has already stopped
until it’s just you and me
and all those things we might have said
in the low light.

‘It gets easier’ —
but what if it doesn’t?
What if I want the worst-case scenario?
The one that has us dying oh so slowly
without any contribution to a world
that never left sweet honey emblems on me.

What if we don’t go out with our boots on
and I let my hair grow too long
and you feed me too much sugar
till we get bored of each other’s smiles?

‘It’s a shame about those girls,’ they’ll say.
'Used to have a whole future.’
But I’d take weathered hands over scar tissue.
I’d keep you bitter, and ruined, and soft,
because it’s better than a monument
with our names spelled wrong.

It will still be Sunday morning, I’ve decided
when I stumble down to find you
half-propped in some cushy chair
that’s not good for our bad backs.
And I’ll stir that cup of tea,
honey secret below.

And it will take me a while,
a minute or two, a day, a year,
probably more — forever —
but by then I’ll not have long myself.
So I’ll let you sleep in just this once,
darling,
because heaven knows
you so rarely get the chance.