Analysis of How I feel

I feel.....
I feel like I’m about to die .....
I feel like death is ending my records.....
I feel like I’m about to be absent.....from this world
I feel like half of me hates this world......
I feel this.....but I like absence.....Absence from cruelty
I hate as much as I love....I can’t decide which is which and I shouldn’t be with......
I hate everyone.....I hate everything......but neither do I even love myself.....
It’s tough to face the uncomfortability of this world....but I can’t fight it too.......I just have to accept it.....
Am I miserable ? Or just deciding to cope with it?should I cope with it?
My sight in life is gone......gone with the wind....
Can I think about the past? Or just decide to change my present?
Why do I have to keep living with my past? Has it thought me anything comfortable or just the boldness to face the cruelty in this Present?........
I have undertaken the keen move to stay up in the Present and help find my feet....But I’ve just realized that I have no feet....
I have no feet....no feet to boast that I feel the ground.....the ground everyone stomps on.....but maybe I don’t need to feel what everyone is feeling....do I ?
It’s bad to stand in the midst of the good and expect the bad....huh? At least that’s what they told us.....But at least  Standard morality that’s not work anymore....that’s it?......
What used to be the good has now become the bad....but the bad hasn’t become the evil-IT HAS BECOME THE GODDESS
The GODDESS of goodness and honesty......what ?
What is honesty anyway?Honesty where people can keep themselves up whiles others are down?
I hate society...yes I do.....But I love the fact that I still own people....I OWN THOSE  WHO MADE ME...THOSE WHO BUILT ME......but what can an in-built self-centered person like me still remember that I own people....won’t I just brush it off? Please don’t hate me for not remembering......Because I am filled with stagnant pain in my HEART....MIND...and BODY.....
I think you still DON’T care......right?So just leave me alone....
Can I love and be loved?No! I don’t think so....Should I?
But I can GUARANTEE you that I can be killed if I don’t kill......
Don’t kill me......don’t kill me.....
In my dream....….thats what I speak for in my dream…