Analysis of Old Soft Eyes



Weaving through brightly
colorfully lit perfume bottles,
candles secreting scents, and
snowflake posters hanging from
the ceiling, I stopped. Bottles
tinkled in my basket. Last in
a line of blank faces, speaking
to my mother about the
past, suddenly, I heard a voice
in front of me. A beard, old soft eyes,
and a friendly voice spoke to me. It said:
'I grew up in Illinois. As a child I remember
sitting in front of the crackling
fireplace with a cup of warmth
in my hands. Watching the snow fall
outside. The greatest feeling in the
world. My wife came out here to
California to live closer to her family.
That is why I am here.
Most of my relatives have passed on.
I've only visited home once
After the Vietnam war.
I sure do miss that place.
Maybe I'll go back someday..maybe
The voice gave a wistful sigh.
I felt so sorrowful. A solemn smile
silently lifted my lips.
Why would one so wise share with
one so young? Was there no other?
This friendly face made the snow
seem so inviting and the sun seem
so far away. Should I feel silent
emotion for those old soft eyes,
or for those pale blank faces?

Slowly the faces faded
and the beard blew away
leaving hollow cracks
in my mind.


Scheme ABXXBXCAXDXECXXAXAXXXXXXXXXXEXXXDX XXXX
Poetic Form
Metre 10110 10010110 10110 110101 0101110 10011010 01111010 1110010 11001101 011101111 0010111111 1110011011010 10011010 1010111 01110011 110101000 1111111 010111010100 111111 111100111 11010011 100011 111111 101111 0110101 1111000101 1001011 1111111 11111110 1101101 110100011 110111110 01011111 1111110 1001010 001101 10101 011
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,146
Words 222
Sentences 22
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 34, 4
Lines Amount 38
Letters per line (avg) 24
Words per line (avg) 6
Letters per stanza (avg) 464
Words per stanza (avg) 111
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Submitted on May 01, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:07 min read
3

Esther Jacks

My name is Esther Jacks. I love to paint, draw and write poetry.Please feel free to comment on any of my poems and view my website: www.EsthersArt.com more…

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