I will forgive you

I try very hard not to hate you
I work every day to put you in the past
I pray minute by minute sometimes
 to get out of the shadow you cast

I don’t want to have this anger
I don’t want to feel this pain
After all these years I hate
That I feel I have nothing to gain

I have talked till I’m blue in the face
With one therapist or another
I feel like I’m getting over it
I feel like I’m getting stronger

Then this day comes around
And all I want to do is cry
I want to scream and yell
I want to and I try

But then I hit this blank wall
Full of brick that say you don’t give a damn
About the wreckage you left behind
That has made me the momma that I am

I worry constantly about what is right and what is wrong
I worry she might not ever truly know Gods love for her
I worry that she might end it all before it’s time
I worry I’m not enough for her

I hate you because you caused this
I hate you because you care so little
I hate you because you didn’t love us
I hate you because you don’t see or feel what you left behind

I could go on and on about the pain
I could tell you the crap that has occurred
I could tell you about the torture you put us through
But I won’t because my future is secured

8 years ago you took from my girl
The life she was destined to live
You took her innocence away
You took what she did not give

8 years ago we started a journey
Of protection, healing, and growth
She has overcome mountains
For these things I will boast

8 years ago you stole what was not yours
But God has restored in her a new heart
He will never leave her nor forsake her
He has promised me they will never part

I’ve trained her to love the Lord
Even though we don’t understand it all
We hold on to His truth
We will follow when He calls

I will forgive you for what you have done
I will continue to every day
Minute by minute if I have to
Because my blessing is here to stay!!!!

She is my princess and joy
She will succeed in this life
God has us in his big Daddy hands
He will not lead us to strife

You will have no part in this at all
You will forever be a sideline watcher
She will shine through all of her life
For she is a blessing catcher!!!!!

I forgive you for your sins against her
I forgive you for your sins against me
I choose to fall into my big Daddy’s arms
And in His peace I will be