Ceaseless Guilt

I don't know what?
But it is real and permanent
It hurts me,it burns me from inside
This is something I can't explain
The words can't describe this pain
Can i kill myself?
Without hurting anyone
Will they let me leave this place?
Without bringing me the weight of guilt
Can i survive the feeling of guilt?
Or am i going to carry it with me?
I have suffered enough in this world
Is it going to be same or worse there?
Is there anyone else like me?
Who have been there
Can you tell me what it is like?
To be happy and peaceful all the time
But can i handle this peacefulness and  hapiness?
Or is it going to hurt me like everything?