Let it pour

I wanna bleed and see my blood outside my body.
I wanna not breathe it would be a bit naughty.

Why can't I fucking cut deep like I used to?
I wanna die, it's a feeling I've gotten used to.

Nothing I do is ever good enough,  you always have something to say.
I let you in me and my daughter's life and you never gave us 100% of your effort so why the fk do you deserve part of her decisions or why do u deserve to stay.
I'm a coward I'm a thief, I'm a demon from down beneath.
I let lust look like love and shattered my life to pieces.
I fucking hate everything I am now so why should I love anyone else?

Only way to change it is to cut this toxic fucking cyst off of me.
You are wanting things to be fair,  you want this that and some more.
But I've given up on asking my wants because you just say I'm just a lying stupid whore.

The only way your snowflake ass won't get offended is to make these fking poems to make myself feel ok and to breathe and be able to weewallow.
You think you are always right and that you're so stellar I refuse to sit and follow.

I wish I could love the unlovable, I really wanted to when we got the positive test.
It's all stress.
I can't be my best
when someone beams over top of me.
I'm stuck as this bloody dark demon miserable and stuck in hell.
I hate that I cant be the woman I used to be for reasons you can tell.