Vows

Dearly Beloved,
Do you take this member?
Both hard and limp
Whether he’s a stud or a wimp?

Either flaccid or erect
Honor and obey
Your supposed to reflect

What is the reason
You wish to get hitched?
Afraid of being rejected?
And possibly ditched?

A contract with a clause
To help you when you pause
Give me half
So says our laws

I loved you before
But that was then
Now that your broke
You’re simply a has been

I find it funny that
Your emotions
Reflect a price

We used to smile
And you were nice

But time has eroded
Our happiness and joy
Was your affection just a ploy?

Anyone married
Knows the game
I love you and need you
But you drive me insane

Marriage they say is an institution
But when it goes wrong
You suffer retribution

It’s better to be single
And remain in peace
Then to put your heart on a lease

Eric (and sometimes not)