Cravings

Crawling out of my skin
This mind set I'm in
I don't like what im feeling
I'm praying while kneeling
On the floor to ask for relief
It should help, that's my belief
I want to change my feelings and thoughts
My stomach is in knots
Drinking and drugs will fix this
But I'll lose the life I built, which I will surely miss
Two voices in my brain
The one that tells me to let hell rain
And the one that tells me to keep going on
Sober 5 years and these cravings aren't completely gone
The fact I have them certifies me still an addict after all this time.
I don't know why u am making this rhyme.
Writing helps put things into a perspective I need to see.
Each negative emotion feels like 1000 stings from a bee.
Why do I feel the need to change the emotions I cant subdue?
Why can't I just accept them like normal people do?
I am too stubborn to give up my sobriety.
But sometimes I wish I could drink or use like the rest of society.