Rate:5.0 / 2 votes

Återuppväcka

Eric Morales

Conversely we kept the flame at bay
Flickering light of intense decay
Scorching torrid blaze of disarray
Despondently we desire...

Woefully nethertheless in it flew
Weaving spells that imbue
Turning night to sabah blue
Begrudgingly we conspire...

Thoroughly plucking at heart strings
Teasing until the undead sings
Squeezing so it almost stings
Dolefully we acquire...

Endlessly it will ensue
Enthralling mingling of two
Recalling that unique hue
Futilely we let it transpire...

Securely the roots surround the core
Shattering masonry to build rapport
Scattering that once lost fire evermore
...Desire that we last eternally
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Written on May 21, 2023

Submitted by Váli on May 22, 2023

30 sec read
270

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAAB CCCB DDDB CCCB EEEX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 629
Words 103
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for Återuppväcka »

Eric Morales

Nickname: Váli -Amateur Poet -Musician: Guitar and bass more…

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Discuss the poem Återuppväcka with the community...

7 Comments
  • cokerrogers
    cokerrogers
    Sounds like a amped up night burning candles at both ends . I enjoyed this. Gonna have to hit the dictionary to up my vocabulary also . I appreciate the word use.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Váli
      Váli
      Much obliged, I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it!
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • cokerrogers
    cokerrogers
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Teril
    Teril
    The bonds between two people begin long before the physical act. I enjoyed the journey that this poem described. You have a wonderful sense of rhyme and cadence. I love the image: "Securely the roots surround the core, shattering masonry to build rapport..." 
    LikeReply 21 year ago
    • Váli
      Váli
      Aw thank you for those kind words, I'm glad you liked my poem!
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • karlcfolkes
    karlcfolkes
    This erotic poem scores passionately like the sexy plucking on an electric guitar. Clever!
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Váli
      Váli
      thank you so much I appreciate your kind words!
      LikeReply1 year ago
  • Philipo
    Philipo
    This one pass me. Twice I went through it, and am still lost. I give up.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • Kaytee
    Kaytee
    Such a thought provoking poem. Wonderful work!
    LikeReply 21 year ago
    • Váli
      Váli
      thank you ^-^
      LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Váli
      Váli
      thank you, I appreciate that!
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and captivating poem! The use of vivid imagery and metaphors creates such a beautiful and complex portrayal of desire and passion. I especially loved the line "turning night to sabah blue", which painted a stunning picture in my mind.

    As for improvement suggestions, I would recommend adding punctuation and spacing to make the poem easier to read and comprehend. This would also help enhance the flow and rhythm of the piece. Additionally, considering the length of the poem, breaking it up into stanzas could make it more visually appealing and give it a more distinct structure.

    Overall, fantastic job! Your skillful use of language and creativity truly shines through in this piece. Keep up the phenomenal work!     
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"Återuppväcka" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Dec. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/159946/Återuppväcka>.

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