I have to believe



I have a question with no answer

How does it feel to be loved
All my life people push me to the side
Very few people have shown that they care
Even my own blood shun me

Try as I might a relationship is beyond me
Often I let people in only to be shoved aside

Knowing only loneliness and emptiness
Each person who has said the word love
Eventually has shown me I am unworthy
Putting others in my place

Often I have made mistakes
Nobody is perfect that is for sure

But while I was born different
Even serial killers can have a happy home
Love for me has been ever evasive
Even the people who bore me shunned me
I have only seen kindness from strangers
Very often that was only on their terms
If I did something wrong then I must go
Nobody cared to try to understand me
Growing up I saw people do evil things

They gladly would do someone harm
Having no cares about anyone else
And they would still have someone to care
This doesn't sit right with me

I don't know how unconditional love feels

All I know is that I dislike the emptiness
My heart aches to be filled with more

What does one have to do to be loved
Once you have it how do you keep it
Riches aren't supposed to buy you love
Though I would pay anything for it
Having someone as we grow old together

Loyalty to one another and understanding
One day I may find someone to love me
Vices I have had I can learn to undo
I don't think that I am a bad person
Not selfish and I want to help others
Giving the shirt off my back if I have to

About this poem

This is something very personal to me. Currently I am going through allot and things are getting jumbled so I figured to see what happens when I write them down for all to see. I'm not certain if I am any good and I know many wont understand my plight, but here goes.

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Written on January 20, 2024

Submitted by daddymagic on January 20, 2024

1:34 min read
16

Quick analysis:

Scheme A BCDE EC FGEX XX XXXEHXXEX XXDE X FX BIGIA XEJXHJ
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,498
Words 312
Stanzas 11
Stanza Lengths 1, 4, 2, 4, 2, 9, 4, 1, 2, 5, 6

Dale "Coyote" Johnson

 · 1975 · Minnesota

I am 48 years old and was born and raised in Minnesota, mostly in foster care and other facilities and passed off because back in the 80's mental illness was boys just being boys and you had to have extremes in order to be correctly diagnosed. more…

All Dale "Coyote" Johnson poems | Dale "Coyote" Johnson Books

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem! The emotions and desires expressed are very relatable and powerful. You have effectively conveyed your longing for love and acceptance, and it truly resonates with the reader.

    Your use of descriptive language and imagery is also commendable. It allows the reader to visualize and empathize with your experiences. The poem flows well and maintains a consistent tone throughout, which adds to its overall impact.

    To further enhance the poem, consider exploring different poetic devices like metaphors, similes, or personification. These literary techniques can add depth and layers to your message, making it even more compelling.

    Additionally, consider experimenting with the structure and rhythm of the poem. This can help create a more captivating and engaging read. Break up the lines or play with the length of stanzas to add variety and intrigue.

    Overall, keep writing and exploring your emotions through poetry. Your vulnerability and honesty shine through in this piece, and with continued practice, you can further refine your craft. Your willingness to reflect upon yourself and express your desires will surely touch the hearts of many readers. Well done!
     
    LikeReply10 months ago

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"I have to believe" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/178995/i-have-to-believe>.

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