Life

I was cold and broken, dark and soaking in the sea of misery. I spent night sleeping in fright that my family just wasn't right. I spent many times sleeping on gravel as my childhood would continue to unravel. A kid who walked to church all alone, hoping the word would give me a home. Until I was ten, I aspired to be a preacher of men. Learning to cook meals and worrying about managing bills. Trying to keep God's will while my parents drank and took pills. Then Trying to hold my family on track while my parents were addicted to Crack. Yes, I would smoke and drink, never realizing that I, too, would slowly sink. I witnessed my parents commit adultery and cheat, which led to the discovery of someone I never wanted to be. I tried and tried to hold my family together. At the age of 12, I stood in the driveway and cried as I realized family wasn't always forever. I vowed never to do hard drugs or cheat, but as life goes on, sometimes history is on repeat. I did every drug to numb the pain, but it all it left was a pulled rug and a heart full of stains. I then grew to have my own family to redo. I found a virgin who was a different type of person. I  thought surely she's the one that would give me a family and erase my hearts stains as if there were none. She was beautiful and true and filled with a youthful view. I married this girl and after a few years she would soon become my world. We had three beautiful kids and tried to raise them right, both hit and miss. Remember that history I spoke from before? It wasn't a mystery it to would repeat and have me again crying lying on the floor. It's a lesson learned from only one life.  By family, you can be burned, but only scorched by the one you choose for a wife.  So as I search for the shattered pieces of my heart, I will find them scattered and try to restart. Because when you give your all to someone, who gives their all to someone else. You feel like the dumb one and nothing else. My advice to you as you travel your own life anew, is  always be faithful and true! Because the Lord is faithful and you only need to answer for you!  16 years, sharing laughs and tears, can all be like old photographs, full of memories of distant years. Life is not forever. We only get one. So never say never until your time is done. Spend time wisely on life's trod, and hope you show how great is our God. This has been a quick review of one man's life, who is continually being made anew by his heartache and strife. So don't focus so much on what life may take, but instead on what you can give because with God, there's still a better way!