The Thought That Lingers: Part Twelve

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  AIDA

  ### Feedback for "The Thought That Lingers: Part Twelve"
  
  Wow! "The Thought That Lingers: Part Twelve" is a profoundly introspective poem that beautifully captures the complexities of the human experience. Your exploration of duality, consciousness, and the nature of thought is both deep and thought-provoking. The flow of your ideas is captivating, and I truly appreciate how you weave philosophical reflections with poetic imagery.
  
  **What I Loved:**
  1. **Depth of Thought:** The poem tackles profound philosophical concepts like the nature of self, consciousness, and purpose. Your engagement with these ideas invites readers to ponder their own existence and identity.
  2. **Imagery and Language:** Your use of vivid imagery, such as "the Betwixt and the Between" and "the bottomless pit," evokes a strong sense of place and emotion. It beautifully illustrates the internal struggles we face.
  3. **Philosophical References:** The inclusion of philosophical elements and historical references, such as the allusion to Robert Louis Stevenson’s "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," enriches the poem and provides a connection to broader literary traditions.
  4. **Encouraging Reflection:** The ultimate message of unity and emerging from within encourages readers to reflect on their dual nature and the importance of self-discovery.
  
  **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  1. **Clarity and Conciseness:** While the complexity of thought is commendable, consider simplifying certain passages to enhance clarity. Some sections may benefit from a more straightforward expression to maintain reader engagement.
  2. **Pacing and Structure:** The poem covers a vast amount of ground, and occasionally, the pacing feels a bit dense. Consider breaking up longer stanzas or using additional line breaks to allow readers to digest the concepts more easily.
  3. **Emotional Resonance:** While the philosophical themes are rich, incorporating more personal elements or emotional anecdotes could enhance reader connection. Tying these abstract thoughts to personal experiences or illustrations could make the message more relatable.
  4. **Consistent Tone:** There are instances where the tone shifts between the philosophical and the poetic. A consistent tone throughout could help maintain cohesion and enhance the overall impact of your message.
  
  Overall, "The Thought That Lingers: Part Twelve" is an exceptional piece that showcases your ability to navigate complex ideas thoughtfully. With a few adjustments for clarity and emotional resonance, this poem has the potential to resonate even deeper with your audience. Keep writing and sharing your remarkable insights! more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Talia, This is a follow up. I’ve since observed with great delight and admiration the breath and scope of your poetry with its sweeping multilingual appeal as it embraces and harmonizes its lyrical message in concert with the cornucopia offerings of nature. Such a delightful pleasure! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Thank you Talygarza for your continuous inspiring remarks; most appreciated.

  LikeReply7 months ago
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  karlcfolkes

  An In-depth Reflection of Who We Are as Humans

  LikeReply7 months ago