Why

Why?
Why am i happiest when it rains?
Why do i feel lonely when people are around?
Why do i feel left out when i'm invited?
Why do i feel quiet when people talk to me?
Why do i feel annoying when people say i'm not?
Why do i feel like i should give up when i shouldn't?
Why does my heart hurt when i'm happily in love?
Why does my mind constantly mess with me?
Why does it feel like i should shut up instead of talk?
Why do people make me think this way?

Is it because of my past?
What i went through?
What broke my mind into shattered fragments that not even the strongest glue could repair?

I feel like a misfit,
I don't fit in a hole,
I don't fit in certain spaces,
I'm the Round Peg hitting the
square that doesn't match up,
I don't fit in,
Sometimes i wonder if i'll ever fit in.
Do i even want to fit in?

Life is tough,
As my mind screws with my thoughts,
Making me think things that aren't there,
Making me hear things that aren't there,
Making me wonder if i'm just insane sometimes,
Making me think if i'm just born this way,
Or if something happened along the path.

Every year,
Every Week,
Every Minute,
Every damn second,
I ask myself "Why?"

Why do things happen?
Why do i feel this way?
Why do i feel like i'm being excluded,
When i'm not?
Why do i overthink?
Why do i wonder about so much that goes on,
When it's not my problems to worry about?
Why?

The question always rings in my mind,
Every time it escapes my lips,
Every time it leaves my body,
Every time i ask myself,
Why?

Even i don't know.